Counting the blessings....

Things to avoid during this month

2012-02-17T18:06:00.000+01:00

1. Don't blow my nose out loud in public.
2. Don't start speaking German to all angmohs i see.
3. Don't stop at the right side of the escalator.

Ah feel like a stranger at KLIA. The only language that ppl can understand me is when i speak malay, the rest speak only cantonese which i refuse and cannot converse in. 6 hours to go and i smell like a horse. (ewww) Thanks to those who follow me throughout my journey. Your absence might be unknown but thanks for being there. and a wise man once said, (me lah)

I wish I can go somewhere and just get lost. Because the only people who ever get any interesting place are the people who get lost.

Things i learn during the flight back home.

2012-02-17T05:32:00.000+01:00

1. Count your blessings
The thing about flying from munich is already a blessing itself since i usually fly back from frankfurt and what actually happen is this time i bought the ticket which requires me to fly from munich when there was a huge strike in frankfurt airport. But of coz, like murphy said, if it's deem to happen, it.will.happen. It's just a matter of perspective. So instead of being delayed because of the strike, the flight was indeed delayed n my worst nightmare was confirmed when a utility truck actually hit the A380 i m suppose to board and thus leads to missing all possible connecting flights.

2. Dubai airport
it is quite impossible to walk from one end of the airport to the other end without having major leg pain n cramps. I overestimated myself when i decided to do some sport since i will be spending 7 hours at the airport due to unforeseen circumstances (plz refer to the first point above) and i also found out that it is better to walk on the left compare to the right side due to the vast existence of europeans at the airport.

3. Talking to random strangers will make them ur bffs throughout the journey
In Munich, i was sitting alone sulking at the corner when i got approached by some pretty hot blondies. It started of with me mentioning about exams and then everyone started to shout in joy as they just finish their final papers yesterday. Then later we shared all sorts of theories behind the delay and it was a lot of fun in the midst of the unpleasant delay.
And in Dubai, as i was holding my red toshiba laptop with dangling charger everywhere looking for the most optimum place with the best internet connection and source of power, i met people who are like me, stranded and with dying laptops n smartphones. And this brought us into an unspeakable bond as we look at each other like brothers and sisters. We even took turns taking naps while the other take care of all the gadgets.
The funny thing is i don't know any names of the bffs.

4. Random ppl who pops out at the unlikely hours are lifesavers
Thanks to those who had to endure my whinings throughout the journey and simply be there to keep me out of my boredom.

5. How to react during the moment of life n death (almost)
So sometimes i do things too quickly and sometimes i just like to take my own sweet time to do sth. Both has it consequences and often i regret when i do sth too quickly and when i took too much time to decide on sth small. It's really hard to determine where the balance is n most of the time i have been swaying between 2 extremes. I do notice that this time i m still a bit hasty.

Updates : At the point of writing this post, i am still stranded in Dubai. I swear i know the airport so well that i know how many mcds n burger king are there.

What's so special...

2012-02-14T21:28:00.000+01:00

about 14.02.2012?

yup u got it right, it's not about the flowers or the chocolates, it marks the end of my 6th Sem or third year of my uni life. What better way to celebrate V-day than the official end of my semester after writing my last exam paper on this day itself! Not to mention that i will be flying back in 2 days time, away from this late, cold winter!

Looking back, i cannot believe that i've made it this far. 4th year mechanical engineering student soon, wow! And still surviving! Kinda want to remain a student for a while. Lately i have been preparing my parents that they might need to wait a bit till i graduate for good coz i m considering doing my PHD and then go back to my small, humble town of Sibu to work at grandpa's grocery shop. haha.

I remember blogging about the start of this semester after my internship and here am i blogging about the end of the semester already. Looking back, a lot of things has happen throughout the sem, good and bad, and some things i need to unlearn n relearn again, things lost and found, gain new friends and had to let go a few ppl out of my life and many more.

Looking forward to the new semester, i will be expecting more things to happen, life changing perhaps yet so uncertain. Being a control freak, i must admit that i am scared of the coming semester, so many unknowns out there ready to be revealed and new opportunities to be discovered. I am not too sure whether i should pro-actively go all out to seek the future or is it a time to learn how to just sit there and observe as the masterplan slowly unveils.

I'm ready for the big surprise! Bring it on!

我可不可以不勇敢?

2012-02-10T10:00:00.000+01:00

【几米语录】每一次我都说，没事，我行。我总带着坚强的微笑，一副永远勇敢的样子，可这一次，我想说，我可不可以不勇敢?我只是小心翼翼地问了自己，然后又带着坚强的表情，勇敢了一次。他们都赞许地微笑了。

If...

2012-01-20T07:13:00.003+01:00

Keep running!

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
'til I only dwell in Thee?

If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision
'til I only dwell in Thee

Hymm - Brooke Fraser

Where do I stand?

2012-01-16T15:17:00.000+01:00

Lately i have been pondering a lot on this - where do i stand, in my family, in my studies, in my different surroundings eg Uni friends and my other Malaysian friends, as a senior or junior, and my other secret identity as a co-leader in my housechurch (ok now not so secret anymore) to my team and my other leaders. It's confusing, often when i stop and ponder and stare and let everything settle down and rethink again, it really doesn't bring me any further, i mean things might reveal themselves slowly but if i juz stood there and got stuck, what's the point? The fact is, keep walking, keep trusting and don't stop n stare too long.

As the germans say, macht weiter!

What is the motivation behind?

2011-12-13T18:31:00.001+01:00

The famous inscription on the main entrance to the former concentration camp of Dachau

Ya so i have been visiting this place during the weekend. I don't really have any expectations before i went, but after the trip i start to ask myself, what is the motivation behind ppl(me) who actually visit places like this. For example, if you plan a trip to China, you will automatically go to Beijing to visit the great wall of China because they say if u never seen a section of the great wall, u have never been to China. So wat about visiting concentration camps? Why do visitors have the interest to join a tour of any concentration camps?

Well if you are expecting answers for me, technically it's juz pure curiosity that brings me to this place, i wanted to see it out of Germany's point of view since i've been to one in Poland. But if i were to ask myself about the motivation behind visiting this-sad-place, i still need time to think about it. It's such a mixture of feelings deep inside me towards mankind.

Lately, I've been dealing wif a lot of raging hormones and overwhelming mental activites. When i thought i can't stand it anymore because i magnify every single feeling and emotions and that's why it become so overwhelimg, i am reminded once again, that it is a wacky world we're living in. Why not take everything like a pinch of salt and really, for once, just learn how to let go and let God. Going without knowing - i desperately need to learn that.

another list...

2011-12-09T07:26:00.000+01:00

oh i juz love to make list, *glancing at the never-ending-to-do-lists on my wall... *gulps

1. Guess what, i actually got half of the things done from the previous list! (pat Pat on the back)
2. I should really finish reading at least 1 book out of the 5 on-going books tat i have been reading since the day i bought them
3. Omg it's December already???!!! need ideas for christmas presents!
5. Everyone wants to be part of sth significant and impactful don't they?
5. I shall stop here and continue revising for my Lab-exam in 1 n half hour (u mean u got exam for ur Labs???!!)

as you can see, the list is not so list-y because first of all, it doesn't have a title, and second, it's juz some random stuff i wanted to post about but i forgot due to the hectic schedule this sem, i look forward to the day when i can pat myself on the back and say 'well done'

list of things i try so hard to find

2011-11-16T22:40:00.000+01:00

but failed...

1. My lost snow cap (still refuse to accept the fact tat it is gone, forever!)
2. A perfect dress for a wedding
3. A sweater that scream 'BUY ME!'
4. Double eye lid tape/glue
5. A pair of shoes that keep my cold feet warm yet look chic (most winter shoes are ugly!)
6. Unagi rice! (been craving for this since i dunno when, and the craving just won't die down)
7. Motivation to clean up my room (it has been like that since i move back last month, i am really not the neat type, and the room is making me more depressed!)
8. More money (anyone could use some extra cash right?)
9. A company to do my bachelor thesis (YES, i am THAT desperate)
10. A machine/person that can help me wif the above mentioned things.

How to love and not be loved?

2011-11-14T18:55:00.004+01:00

Small talk
Was on skype wif my youngest bro for nearly 2 hours. Nowadays with technology, i tend to forget when is the last time i see him face to face, was it 2 years ago? and with the other sister who is currently in Sydney, i cannot recall when is the last time i saw her in reality, not virtually?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

love and not be loved (back)
as weak humans, it's always easier to love ppl who love you than to love ppl who don love you back.
as christians, it's always to love ppl first, then don care about the outcome.
being both, it's kinda contradicting.

but it cannot be, because in 1:John 4:8 it says, 'Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.'

So how exactly can we love and (not) be loved
1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved us.

having said all that, it's after all, only head knowledge. It's the application of it that counts. Some people just talk and never do it. Well at least i talk about it, unlike ppl who don bother?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outro
I juz realised tat i am a very complicated person (u mean u never knew this??? omg???) When i think that i can finally figure myself out, i realise it's another glass ceiling. I don't really know what i want, where i wanna go (ok, maybe i do) what i wanna buy, what i wanna wear, it's time for a change!

Ring!

2011-10-15T14:19:00.001+02:00

sorry for the long absence... the transition from being an intern to the only child at home and now back to normal student life has been affecting my normal routine...

things are different now, new phone (thanks dad!) new semester (erm no thanks!), new (old) hostel room, new subjects, new jacket (from pull and bear) and soon-to-be new shoes...

but some things juz stay same old same old... if i only knew who rang the freaking doorbell at 2:42am in the morning!!! it really juz bring me to a realisation tat i m back to the student life where the parties mark the start of a semester wif unconscious-but-still-moving-around-ppl ringing doorbells at night...

ah how i miss my student life! bring it on 6th sem!

How'd everything started?

2011-08-23T14:00:00.000+02:00

with a spark of thought!

Went to a small concert during college with some friends. It was organised by my church and different people were invited to perform, including one local artist from Sabah whose name i've forgotten.

Hey what if one day i can organise something like this as well.

And so i did propose it. Told people about my plan and encourage some close friends to prepare a performance or two. Then Oprah spoke to me, yeah the Oprah Winfrey from TV. She mentioned something on TV about making a difference in other people's life. So the conviction sets in, yeah I should make it into a charity event!

After saying a quiet prayer of repentence, the small unplug concert turns into a musical festival! I can sell tickets and donate them to help the poor. Foodstalls can be set up and all the sales goes to cnn's aid to stop human trafficking.

Before I knew it, everything has been put on hold. Bottom line : I may be losing my mind.

Current situation : me vs Oprah - should I continue with my small casual event or start organising a Hillsong conference?

When will i ever be...

2011-08-19T11:27:00.001+02:00

married? nah just joking...

content is the word. When will I ever be content?

As the first child of the family, i think i have first-born-syndrome. (duh!)
I tend to explore everything by myself since there's no one telling me what to do or what not to do. I am a people-pleaser, my parents or even the whole family have great expectations on me and it is up to me to fulfill them.

And lately in my daily walk as a christian, I unintentionally applied the traits mentioned above. I am interested in how other leader do or see things so that I can imitate them. I read books on how to know the will of God or I kiss dating goodbye to make sure I am doing it all right. Every major decisions that I made, I spend most of my brain cells worrying and struggling to choose the 'right' one or to make it the 'right' one.

Micah 6:8:
“He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

Sounds simple.

Am I happy with where I am now? When will I ever be content with myself, other people and everything else?

to let go or not to let go?

2011-08-10T19:44:00.002+02:00

This post is the sequel to the previous one, inspired by the lovely and loud visitors (since there are 2 sibu-ians among them) when they were with me on saturday.

So this time it is Miss M, who I had a really really good conversation with. We manage to find time to squeeze in a sharing session in the middle of the night, after they cooked me supper - korean ramen with melting cheese on top (yummeh!) So as icebreaker, i asked her THE question and it naturally lead the conversation into the topic of BGR, so we discussed a bit of what our stands are , then it sort of went into a small sub-topic which really strikes me a lot - the asian church culture. After being in Germany for nearly 3 years, i tend to forget how was it back then in Acts, when it is a cool n hip thing to go to church. In Germany only nerds with no life who are not partying n getting drunk on weekends are free on a Sunday.

Back then, i most probably don't remember why i was there every Sunday, was it for the food after each service, the pumped up P&W sessions that left me tearing or the awesome people I get to serve with? Even till today I struggle a lot with this, I felt so alone in this journey, I easily shun away from people whom i think are pulling me down and not building me up. I really wish to have passionate people alongside with me, encouraging and consoling me when I feel like giving up.

I guess I am still not ready to let go of this hypocrisy in me.

Asking the hard questions - Part 3

W.H.Y?

2011-08-09T10:03:00.001+02:00

Ok this is an extremely honest post so be prepared (for what?)

I am extremely pretend-ious when it comes to answering questions that will make myself look cool n funny(which will sound stupid after a while)

One of the most common question I get during my internship at SAX is “Why

germany

? Huaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?”

And everytime I give different answers, depending on the people who asks and depending on different situations. (and also the mood of the day)

Btw these are not MCQs :

Germany

boast of their best industrial (bcoz I got this scholarship)

Germany

got so many powderful cars (bcoz my parents no money to send me to overseas and I don wan to go to form 6 coz I heard they butcher u there n sell ur meat for ppl to make paos)

- Oh come on! Like this oso need to ask, if not

germany

where else???? Of course 100%

germany

!!! There’s no other place on earth to study mechanical! (if only I could turn back time…)

Oh how I m gonna miss my colleagues and my company, I mean who on earth pays u to write posts during work?

Asking the hard questions - Part 2

Why the difference?

2011-08-08T09:09:00.001+02:00

I had a lovely bunch of visitors from Korea during the weekend and we had such a good time together. Finally there's so many people to talk about my kpop obesessions and share our thoughts and views on the current boyband/girlgroup or variety shows, korean culture, language, food etc.

one of the visitors, Miss A used to be my junior during secondary school and this common thread would be the topic of our chats. I remembered last time how i use to be so rebellious and will always do little little things to support my idea of silent rebel, eg eat in the classroom when it is banned, not wearing name tags when walking through the human barriers of prefects every morning then put it back once i walk pass them and it really bring back a lot of memories of how i spread my influence to my gang of bffs that time. To be frank i am not proud of these memories. I only look back at my past with a teeny weeny bit of shame because the things that i thought was cool back then deemed to be so childish now. (my fingers and toes cringed at the thought of it... yer...)

Why the difference between then and now, i ask myself - only God knows.

Asking the hard questions - Part 1

note to self

2011-07-25T15:03:00.016+02:00

i am the one on the left...

Would appreiciate a sunflower right now...

yes Pat, keep breathing...

Bersih (not my story...)

2011-07-11T11:10:00.000+02:00

haha... i guess ppl are half expecting me to write sth on it, but i wasn't there, i cannot write from my second or maybe even third forth hand experience from other ppl but this article makes me feel like i was there...

Tolong amoi ini dulu!!!

as the author said at the end of her post, someone did win on 9th of July - Malaysia.

reading on #bersihstories on twitter forms both frown n laughter on my face... some are juz hilarious! i oweys enjoy a good laugh...
eg : dad texted me saying don't go into pudu over 10,000 people are there. I replied ya dad I can see

and check out the photo where policemen n protesters are shaking hands... i guess i m proud to see the maturity of Malaysians, yeah we r getting there someday!

My personal view :
Many of us wants to be part of sth important, and tat explains the people who actually attends it, who watch live updates behind their computer at home, who disagree with it and try to confuse ppl with anti-Bersih posts, who don give a-damn-because-it-is-none-of-my-business, who got the feeling of i-shud-be-there/whoa-thank-god-i-m-not-there after everything is over... ppl strive to seek acknowledgement from sth... and i m glad tat ultimately, i only need to seek n please only one thing in this world... and everything tat i do can be derived out of love and grace from the one i seek...

My stand

2011-07-08T11:18:00.001+02:00

in bersih, of course i support the cause of it, to ask the Election Commission (EC) although not nicely, to conduct itself properly for the sake of democracy...

but of course (again), after witnessing a withdrawn post on a particular website *coughs from my sponsor *coughs i realise tat i don have a stand at all, i cannot and will not have the right to wear yellow shirt roaming around KL city on Saturday afternoon, to have a small logo of Bersih2.0 on my facebook profile pic and the fact tat i m risking myself writing sth on this not-to-be-named-issue on my publicly accessible blog is really gonna be a threat to my scholarship. hmmm... maybe i shud consider on withdrawing this post as well...

i wish i can be like the humble Malaysian poet, A Samad Said, who can write sth poetic about this issue (but later got arrested because of the poem so i shud be thankful tat i m not so poetic n still be able to keep my scholarship)

Last but not least, i wud like to share a poem by A Samad Said (not the one tat got him arrested but the one we all loved during Form 1 english literature class...)

He saw a dead crow
in a drain
near the Post Office,
He saw an old man
gasping for air
And a baby barely able to breathe
In a crowded morning clinic
This land is so rich
Why should we suffer like this?

I want clean air
For my grandchildren
I want the damned fools
To leave the forest alone,
I want the trees to grow,
The rivers run free
And the earth covered with grass.
Let the politicians plan how
we may live with dignity
Now and always

Úm...

2011-07-05T14:10:00.001+02:00

here am i again, blogging from sax... i noe it is not a good example but i deserve a reward - blogging in a language that i can actually understand what i wrote myself right? yeah, u half guess it right, i m still in the middle of my report-writing-process, literally middle because i.am.stuck!!! i dunno how or where can i write more, n how do i produce a 40 page report when all i can manage is a mere 10-pages-of-lousy-german report... oh ya, the miracles-creating-photos... the only smart thing i did during my project is taking loads of photos...

ok updates!
i dunno if i will one day juz stop planning for things coz they never will work out? i guess The-Big-Guy up there knows better... i told him, i don wan to go back home during summer, and it is impossible for me to go back because i have already sign a ~~cheap-labour~~ contract until end of september and the flight tickets are simply too expensive... to cut the story short, i manage to shorten the contract and manage to find a relatively cheap ticket despite having to stop 7 hours in a god-knows-where country... but all is well and well is all (wow i juz made tat up)

signing off
Pat

sigh... i really need to post some photos up...

der.die.das

2011-06-30T13:32:00.000+02:00

the 3 articles in german... enough to ruin my next 3 weeks as i will be writing a full report for the lab test i have been conducting for the past 6 weeks... thank God everything went smoothly, thanks to the modern technology, i can do things and make improvement to a test machine... n i m really glad tat it works! can't believe i can actually make sth work!!! okok, in times like this, always remember the Lord...

*rolls eye
ok enough of the spiritual me, it's time to talk about some worldly stuffs... i am still in the world wat?

*clears throat
i am confuse
VERY confuse
wat do guys see in a girl?
and do girls need to take the blame of 'sending wrong signals'?
whereas a guy cannot be too 'perasan' meh?

i will prefer to be an 'alien' in this issue, i have my own stands and convictions, and i will try my best to defend them so please give me a knock in my head if u ever see me giving in to the currents of the world.

it's never too old at this age for boys problem right?
after nearly 3 years, it's still never too late for culture shocks right?

still confuse and having culture shocks,
Pat

learning.still.learning

2011-06-28T12:34:00.002+02:00

Sometimes courageous leadership means standing still, saying nothing, completely confident in God. See 2 Chron20:17

True leaders dont choose the popular way, they make the right way popular. Leaders create consensus.

Is it better to err in being too merciful or too judgmental? James 2:13 "Mercy triumphs over judgment!"
Never follow a leader who always preaches against the sins of others but never publicly confesses his own. See Lk 6:41-42

Source : Rick Warren's tweets

Next step.

2011-06-13T18:13:00.001+02:00

one year.
til 13/06/2012
what i have done?
what i am doing?
where i will go?
stay tune.

True happiness,
is not having what you want,
but wanting what you have.

Day 50 : 353hr 45min

2011-05-20T15:28:00.000+02:00

Those are not juz any random numbers, today marks the 50th day or 353hours n 45 mins of my time in Company Sax (not real name of coz...) maybe i shud stay 15 mins longer juz to make it 354hours...

Wat prompt me to write sth on my 50th day?

I nearly got run down by a truck, not the big one of coz, but the small fork-lift-truck which ppl drive around as if they are Formula One racing car. I shall call them the Stapler (it's a real name this time, but in german) The stapler driver drives his stapler, as if he is Jay Chou in the movie Initial D, he literally drifts his stapler, as in by braking it's hind wheels and turn 90 degs in 2 seconds. And mind u, staplers don't usually comes wif signal light. I mean, how on earth am i suppose to know whether they are going to turn within 3 seconds? ok, i shall be grateful tat i m still alive now, the stapler driver is quite used to idiotic ppl like me who stand in their way. It was partially my fault for not staying on the pedestrian walkway, i mean, again how am i suppose to know where to walk n where not to?

This is how a stapler looks like.

ok enough of the stapler story. No wait, there is another thing about stapler drivers. They are the cutest ppl on earth, i mean who in germany gives u a horn 10 meters away and WAVES at u? awwwww.... they juz make my day... will definitely miss them once i go back to the books...

June!

2011-05-04T11:13:00.001+02:00

It's May already, April has been quite a fruitful month, got my official-first-ever-pay (all those extra angpao money i got doesn't really count coz it is not banked into my account :p)

i compared the months May n June on my outlook calender and so many things to look forward to in June, for a start it's 3 long weekend in a row! woohoo! the first-i-still-dunno-how-i-m-gonna-spend-it-weekend, then the annual Festival von Hoffnungdeutschland and lo n behold, the MALAGA BEACH weekend...

ok this is enough to hype up my day in the office and start with my paperwork for the project which i m working on...

feeling-oh-so-random-again
Pat

False closeness

2011-05-02T14:17:00.000+02:00

one thing i really learn during the weekend is how blessed i am to have real frens around me, whom i don need to exchange my deepest n ugliest secrets wif but still love me as i am...

pfft... who needs a boyfriend when i can hav best friends around...

reasons...

2011-04-25T19:37:00.000+02:00

went to Münster because i wanted to visit Steph,
went to Düsseldorf because i wanted to eat japanese ramen and shop for a pair of shorts and clothes (since i forgot to bring the bag of clothes) and to visit Helen n Yun,
went for a bike tour around Münster because the place is meant for cycling,
dipped my feet in the lake because it's a sign of spring/summer,
paddled a boat while eating cake because it is fun~

someone please remind me again of why do we need reasons for everything?

The day has come - Sarawak decides...

2011-04-14T14:27:00.001+02:00

Pray for a safe, clean and fair election
Pray that candidates who will truly work for the welfare of the state and country, especially the poor, weak and powerless, will be elected
Pray that the Sarawak people will be wise to choose candidates who stand for the freedom, dignity and equality of all communities

Picture n words from The Micah Mandate

No, we do not live on trees.

2011-04-13T15:05:00.003+02:00

The title says it all. Like i said, we do not live on trees, but we do use helicopters instead of sampan.

And i do not blame the national newspaper for this misconception coz they did their job well by reporting this. However i wud like to take this chance to express my condolences to the pilot's family, n here's sth they didn't report on.

The sampan is only used during the flood in sibu which occurs at least once or twice per year.

And another thing they forgot to report on is tat animals in Sarawak are treated better than the S'wakians.

I got inspired by a lot of small stories during this coming Sarawak election, hope u enjoy them as well.

p/s : the words in red are not purposely coloured, they are links which u can click on. I might add more links to it later so do come back for more inspiring stories.

Time flies...

2011-04-11T09:02:00.001+02:00

This way to Tuesday please...

To-eat/cook/bake-list

2011-04-06T11:54:00.000+02:00

Meat loaf!!!

Anything with mushroom!!!

Mince meat!!! juz like kompia wif meat from sibu...

all this food-blog surfing is making me really hungry!!! if only i know how does a gas oven work? haih...

Help!

2011-04-05T08:27:00.002+02:00

To whom it may concerns...

2011-03-25T15:07:00.001+01:00

In 3 months time, no one will be talking about this anymore. Just like what has happened in Chernobyl.

And our generation is to be blame, the government, the people who agree and even the people who disagree, we all play a part in this decision.

'All this should not even have started,' commented a german colleague of mine when discussing about this issue of the possiblity of a nuclear breakdown. He then looks out of the window, staring blankly at the direction of a atomic power station# situated not so far away from this town, along the river Main.

The blogger is talking about the recent plans of building an atomic power plant in her beloved home country. She is currenty studying in Germany, where 20 nuclear power plants were built in the 50s n 60s and all of them are scheduled to be shut down by 2020.

'It does make sense, after all there is just no solution for the waste. You can give me one thousand reasons why nuclear power is good but it just take 1 reason to rebuke them all. The risk is far too great for a terrible accident.'

# Kernkraftwerk Grafenrheinfeld, 30km from the city of Schweinfurt

Updates!

2011-03-16T21:26:00.001+01:00

i started my internship in Sax (not real name of coz...) on Monday n hav been eating lunch alone for 2 days already... is there anyone out there who wud like to eat wif me???

some of the funny scenes during my 3 days of internship :

Scene 1 :
Due to the big area of the manufacturing plant , i practically jog to my department, which is situtated at the other end of the proximity... this morning, a worker who was having his morning puff saw me n say to me :

'Du bist ja auf dem Weg zur Arbeit, nicht zum Flug.'
-You are on your way to work, not to catch a flight.

me : laughs n walk 5 big steps and continue jogging to my building...

Scene 2
for the 200th time someone came to me wif a sad smile on their face...

'so is it really bad back home?'

stun for 3 seconds, i think to myself 'WHAT? price hike on kampua again???!! NOOOO!!!!'

10 seconds later...

'oh, they are asking about Japan'
'i am from Malaysia actually but i heard it's really bad in Japan...
(trying to explain without letting them down)

haih... shall read up more about the nuclear reactor breakdown so as to have conversation starters wif ppl around me...

Checklist

2011-02-24T02:54:00.000+01:00

1. Pay rent and deposit for new house - check
2. Set up appointment for new hoouse - check
3. Clearing up old house - check
4. Print out all boarding passes - check
5. Email sponsor about the trip - check
6. Camera all cleared up n fully charged - check
5. Passport - check

all set and ready to go!!!

i.is.alone

2011-02-13T22:47:00.000+01:00

i felt a sudden rush of sadness on my way back from church today, knowing tat there will be no one at my hostel when i reach there... miss L has moved to the swabian part of the state n will start her practical on valentines day... all this while i've always taken her presense for granted, now i must get use to staying alone for a while... come visit me plz!

went snowboarding for the second time after having the first taste of the adrenaline rush derived from it... this thing is so addictive, although i ended up having a stiff neck n sore arms, not to mention a swollen ankle after straining my left foot the whole day... now is the only time i hope it will snow more in the coming days!

now tat exams are nearly over and after i write my official last english paper tomorrow, i will be busy wif my packing and painting of the house... signing off now... til next time!

Reminiscence

2011-01-28T00:14:00.001+01:00

i remember when i was in primary sch, i went for art classes at one of the shoplots in sibu behind Hong Leong bank... and during tat time there's no handphone yet so after each class i wud go to the nearest bookstore while waiting for my parents to fetch me... n i just loved the stationery section n wud always look at the rulers, ballpens, pencil box (remember the metal ones which we all loved) n sth that never fails to catch my eyes is the very expensive mechanical pencil...

fast forward to present times, i juz received a parcel from home n it includes a THE ultimate mechanical pencil... it's a dream come true! thank you mum and dad!

Racing with the mountains...

2011-01-26T13:31:00.003+01:00

Lately everyone around me has been in a negative mood, mainly due to exams. I sense a call, to make this world palatable while not losing my saltiness, to be in the world but not of the world. How can i benefit the world if i am like the world?

I might be racing with the mountains, but i have the advantage, i can move while the mountains only stay still.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; 
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence; 
and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; 
and uphold me [with thy]free spirit.
[Then] will I teach transgressors thy ways; 
and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, 
O God, thou God of my salvation: 
[and] my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
O Lord, open thou my lips; 
and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

Be the change!

2011-01-20T22:41:00.000+01:00

Strength

2011-01-06T23:40:00.002+01:00

my holidays are slowly coming to an end... the thing i really enjoy most during the holidays is the skype calls wif my family (thanks to my frens i got a new webcam now!)

throughout the different calls i hav wif family, not all are good news... a cousin of mine juz pass away and it really saddens me when i call my aunt who still grieved the lost of her son... until now i still cannot accept the fact tat someone can juz leave us anytime without us realising it... my mum asks me to call my aunt and i m glad tat i did call her despite the fear inside me of not knowing wat to say to her... but the best thing i can do now is to be a listener and to pray for her... i've always thought that i am still consider to be young at this age to experience such things... yet another family member departing reminds me tat nth is too young or too early to happen...

Auntie Margaret, plz stay strong! i believe ah kok is now free from sufferings and is looking over u... to cousin Devano bin Hasbi, otherwise known as ah kok gor gor - Al Fatihah...

*it's a sad sad sad new year for me...

My christmas present for myself!

2010-12-21T00:03:00.004+01:00

Minnie socks!!! thick n warm... no more cold feet!

Don't worry...

2010-12-18T02:31:00.001+01:00

Mahlzeit!

2010-12-04T19:54:00.003+01:00

means 'mealtime' in german... i dunno y but i keep hearing ppl shouting it to each other b4 lunchbreak, funny thing is only in this semester i realise it, i wonder wat hav i been doing for the 2 years of my life in germany...

anyway, back to 'mahlzeit', i've always enjoy the time i spend eating together wif my housemate, usually it'll be basmati rice straight from the rice cooker with vegies (if i m cooking) and throat-choking spicy sauce (if she's cooking) wif chicken... n we talk a lot when we eat...

lately the topic has always been circulating around 'marriage', mainly due to many acquaintances n frens getting proposed n married around this time and she has some thoughts about it too n shared about her plans in the next 3 years before she graduate n wat is she going to do after graduation... n she asked me whether i'm ready for marriage! then it got me thinking, hold on a sec! there's still so much things i haven't accomplish as a single-n-stil-mingling person, my plans of europe trip wif parents, volunteering for london olympics (just send out my application last week), my african dream, gap years, short-term-mission-b4-i-turn-25-pledge etc etc... (sorry grace, i've been seriously thinking about the trans-asia-trip but i felt like it doesn't benefit others much so i'll giv it a skip)

so the plan is, to accomplish everything b4 i graduate, coz after tat will be a whole new world n so many things to consider - time factor, financial status, relationship n the list goes on... time oh time, plz wait!

Mary stayed out all night...

2010-12-01T19:27:00.005+01:00

Spoiler alert!

매리는 외박중 / Maerineun Oebakjoong

The latest craze of my life now... the only thing i look forward to on Mondays... omg, they are going to find out tat all this while 'the marriage' is fake and tat JGS is really starting to like MGY! can't wait for next monday!

my dream hair, red-purple wif wavy bob...

Decisions, decisions...

2010-11-29T21:42:00.001+01:00

the time has come...

my fringe has now outgrown my eyebrows, time to decide, to cut or not to cut, to keep or not to keep the fringe, m i at peace wif my heart? do i feel reluctant to cut it? will it affect my head? are my eyes happy that they will be covered? Will my ears catch a cold when they are exposed? so much things to consider!

juz a preview of my series of reflection on 2010! time to call it a wrap!

Yours truly

Things planned for today...

2010-11-26T11:10:00.003+01:00

prepare for communion on sunday, class, grocery shopping, christmas market, glühwein, dinner with Rolf

if i continue to blog so shortly, i might as well switch to twitter or tumblr... haha

To-do-list

2010-11-17T12:38:00.001+01:00

1. Call taxi fella - check
2. Call phone company - check
3. Call company Z* - check
4. Don't jump from balcony - check

What is this feeling?

2010-11-15T08:50:00.002+01:00

butterflies in your stomach...

Wonders...

2010-11-10T21:40:00.002+01:00

It has been a while since i feel like this... restlessness - fidgeting in my seat as i m typing this now... the reason being - my first interview for my internship next tuesday!

once again, God shows me that He can and still work wonders in my life... n yours too!

feel like taking photos...

2010-10-20T17:42:00.003+02:00

so i shall update u all wif a photo post...

Ah gong

Ah bao

both of them together...

Be myself

2010-10-15T22:50:00.002+02:00

There's not many ppl out there who let me be myself when i am around with them. That's the main identity issue i face when i am wif different ppl because i don't know how to react to them anymore. To some ppl i can easily be myself, to others, i just hav to put on a mask.

This post is for those who trust me and appreciate me for being who i am, the real me. Thank you very much!

btw, i juz found a verse that really strike me regarding wat i faced last week :

James 1:19
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Just in time to learn this precious lesson!

Help!

2010-10-13T11:49:00.003+02:00

trying to do CPR on my drowning N82... more updates later...

#update!
my phone was resurrected from the dead!!! hair dryer works wonders i tel u! my N82 is such a strong-hearted phone who doesn't giv up on it's owner yet!

anger management...

2010-10-08T12:55:00.005+02:00

yesterday, i felt this huge ball of fire burning inside me, a sudden anger juz swept over me and i found out tat i cannot contain it and decided to pour out everything here... in the end, i could not find peace within me even after i post it up and then later deleted the post because i noe tat it does not glorify God...

after tat, i went n take a warm shower (i noe i m suppose to take a cold shower to cool myself down but the weather here doesn't permit it) and tat's when i hear a voice telling me,

"Why is it tat u can hate what other ppl did so much, but u can't hate the little things tat u do behind me?"

yes, i can be quick wif my emotions when i see unjust things happening, but y can't i be SO angry wif myself when the thought of not going to class or not wanting to do dishes or not wanting to shake hand wif ppl tat i tot were 'smelly' cross my mind?

maybe it's juz pms - post malaysia syndrome lah... wat were u thinking???

this is so true...

2010-10-04T19:52:00.003+02:00

有一種女孩子在陌生人面前會很安靜，很冷漠，
在熟人面前卻很放肆，很霸道，
並喜歡一咋一呼的說：“滾，滾蛋，壞蛋，笨蛋”。
不要認為她很粗魯，她只是很單純的認為，
大家打打鬧鬧，罵罵笑笑，表示更親切，更不分你我。

這一種女孩子不談戀愛，只在姐妹間遊蕩
即使有不錯的朋友，她還是無奈的笑笑
其實她只是在不能確定自己付出的前提下
不會接受，因為不想傷害。

這一種女孩子偶爾看到街上的情侶時，
也會幻想，也會羡慕，
幻想著將來自己的戀愛
該是多麼的帥氣，多麼的溫柔，多麼的甜蜜

這一種女孩子，
喜歡和自己的姐妹在一起打鬧，大呼小叫。
即使沒有男朋友，
在她的世界裏，也有她的驕傲！

這種女孩子也會偶爾的憂鬱，
朋友問她怎麼了她也只會說沒事
其實她只是感覺累了，
她只是需要一個擁抱。

這種女孩子不會輕易戀愛，戀愛了一定會好好珍惜。
她會驕傲的拉著他的手大街小逛，
不要認為她放肆，
她只是答應過姐妹們幸福要大家一塊分享。

這樣的女孩子戀愛的時候
喜歡大事聽男孩子的而在小事上調皮，耍賴。
不要認為她太小氣，蠻不講理，
其實在她調皮的習慣裏已經為你收斂不少！

這樣的女孩子不允許男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的辦了對不起她的事，
她一定會狠心的離開你。
不要怪她太絕情，
她其實很愛你，但是卑微的愛情她不要，
她果斷的轉身只是不想讓你看見她滑落的淚水！

這樣的女孩子失戀的時候會在別人面前裝的很好，
大聲的笑，放聲的鬧。
當姐妹心疼的說：“你沒事吧？”
她會放下她所有的驕傲，趴到姐妹懷裏哭。
哭完了，苦笑一聲：沒想到我還會為一個男的哭。

若你遇到了這樣的女孩，
如果你們是朋友，請原諒她平日的不理不睬，
其實她只是不會社交，不敢打擾，
你想想你的每一次邀約，她拒絕過你。
如果你喜歡上她，請你不要說出來，
因為她很幼稚，你會嚇跑她。
原諒她的冷漠，
她只是怕傷害你！

若她喜歡上你，請你不要在她的世界裏消失。
她沒有更多的要求，不會打擾你的生活。
她只是想靜靜的看著你，
當你的觀眾，僅此而已。

如果你們已經在一起了，
請你好好珍惜她。
這樣的女孩子、太傻，
請你別讓她受傷。

這一種女孩子就以這樣的方式生活著，
她有她的夢想，她的希望。
一個如花兒般的女孩子，
她時而快樂，時而憂傷；
時而鬱悶，時而瘋狂；
時而邪惡，時而善良；
時而脆弱，時而堅強！
你可以說她傻，也可以罵她笨，也可以說她冷，
但是她們還是生活在自己的世界裏，
希望做一個幸福、善良的孩子！

taken without consent from fb... haha

farnie...

2010-09-29T00:43:00.003+02:00

i've always try to be funny, hav to admit tat i'm quite good at it too...

then someone comes to me and asks me this question :

"Does the world hates u?"

and leaves me dumbfounded...

i guess the answer is,

"no, not yet..."

someday, i hope it does...

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, since I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. " John 15 : 18-19

Roman Holiday...

2010-09-28T13:00:00.002+02:00

it was yet another summer, and a pretty good one too... one of the places i've been to during this summer is non other than Rome, the capital of Italy, infested wif tourists, but i can see why...

after coming back from there, i guess wat the lonely planet book says about rome is quite true :

1. When it comes to seeing the sights, that old adage Roma, non basta una vita (Rome, a lifetime is not enough), couldn't be more true.

2. Possibly the only European capital with more ruins than dog poop, Rome boasts thousands of years of visible history.

3. Regarding driving in Rome, the rule is in Rome is to look straight ahead to watch the vehicles in front and pray that those behind are watching you.

Sorry for the lack of photos in this post, i, being smart this time, din even bother bringing my camera due to reason i don even noe myself... anyway, at least i get to be the model of 4 other photographers... haha

I don understand...

2010-09-02T10:18:00.004+02:00

I can never understand what u actually wan?

After so many years, u still dunno wat i wan???

Ya lor...

I bet you actually know wat i wan, but its just tat u pretend tat u dunno...

got meh???

-Next time, if anyone ask me wat i wan, i will shout back "YOU KNEW IT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE U ACTUALLY DARE TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION!!!!!"

If i were a movie...

2010-08-23T16:52:00.003+02:00

it would be 大兵小将 or Little Big Soldier by Jackie Chan and Wang Leehom.

Most probably u will think that it's because of Leehom tat i watch this movie (check out the poster, i don even noe tat's leehom there) yes i do admit tat... haha... but the reason i like it is just simply because of how much this movie reminds me of the choices that life offers...

There's 2 character in the movie : a big soldier (大兵) and a small general (小将)

You can either choose to be like Jackie Chan or Leehom. Both have different life purposes, one is to just live a simple life as a farmer after the war n the other hopes to reunite all the small kingdoms in today's China. Of coz there's a twist towards the end, (spoiler alert!) none of them succeed...

This is one of the very few movies i watch this year, n also one of the very rare movies that actually makes me think (the last one was siderman 3 or was it spiderman 2 i forgot...)

just watch it n enjoy it! it might not be the best movie around but still worth watching...

路，是人走出来的。。。

2010-08-22T03:45:00.003+02:00

那你要走去哪里？

走到我想到的地方啊。

哇，那要走好远哦！

。。。

Who's my happily-ever-after?

2010-08-21T04:57:00.000+02:00

When it comes to BGR topics, i always thought i knew it all... until i was in CA n the theme was yet another session of the BGR topic... but i was reminded once again, that God is actually sparing my future husband all the pains n troubles if i were to meet him now so unprepared, n tat i shud not pester God over n over again to show me who's the Mr-Right from the example of Adam and Eve. It was refreshing to know all these things that shows God majestic plans for all humankind.

haih... being God is so not easy... kesian Him...

100

2010-08-20T04:28:00.002+02:00

to the loads of new faces i met during my short trip to SA,
although i could not remember all ur names n faces, ( i don even bother asking for names coz i noe i will eventually forget them all) it's a pleasure meeting u all. i hope one day we will meet again, if not, i hope u will remember the very noisy senior who was in CA way b4 all of u. hahaha...

to those getting their a-level results,
congrats if u got all *(stars) - it's the latest trend, all A's are not enough to satisfy the smart scholars nowadays... n to those who didn't, don lose heart, always remember tat there's someone like me who exists to make ur results seems really good already in comparison...

to the wonderful bunch in CA,
i still felt like i m part of CA even after nearly 2 years of absence from 'the atmosphere'... i was surprise to see a few familiar faces from my school n church last time, thanks for accommodating me n thought tat i were the new junior... haha

God bless!

Life lesson in the car (Part 1)

2010-08-04T07:55:00.002+02:00

I mention in my previous post tat i hav been driving a lot since coming back... most of the time it will be fetching my youngest bro around to different tuition centres located in different corners all around sibu, i wonder where he got all the contacts from... so since he is he only one among my other siblings who is stil in sibu, so i hav no choice but to bully him coz the others r not around to be bullied... haha

so on one particular day, i asked him in the car :
"so i heard they call u XXX (a very rude word in foochow) in class..."

he answered back almost immediately :
"aiya u r so not open minded like mum, in my class XXX means good fren..."

upon hearing this, i immediately raise my voice (young kids nowadays!) :
"so if someone murder someone, wat do u call him? a murderer right? so in this case, if someone call u XXX, then r u one big fat XXX too?"

NO

THEN Y DO U LET OTHERS CALL U XXX?

FREN MAH...

UR HEAD! THEN IF A MAN KILLED ANOTHER MAN, ALTHOUGH THE OTHER GUY WILLINGLY ASK THE MAN TO KILL HIM, HE IS STILL A MURDERER RIGHT? SO EVEN IF U WILLINGLY WANTED TO BE CALL XXX, U R STIL A XXX, NOT A FREN!!!!

(nods in agree...) speechless for a while, n finally admit tat i hav a point there...

*phew, i don even know wat i was saying actually... haha

*the conversation took part in mandarin, so above is juz a translation...

Home

2010-08-01T08:05:00.003+02:00

after coming back for 3 days, i finally manage to catch a glimpse of wat has been planned for me to come back... i noe there is a call for me to come back, i juz dunno y... many times i regret the decision, i call it a harsh one, but now i start to see the whole big pic... staying back in germany can be a good time for me to build up myself, but coming back home can help build up my whole family n community, as well as myself... so i m now on a journey to rediscover myself n how i can help others... so the next few posts will be a series of guide to know myself n my community (foochows, family n church) n where it all begins... make sure u come back again next time if u wud like to know more about me...

Things i practice

2010-07-09T19:06:00.003+02:00

before going to bed...

1. TAOKENIONG, da qian bing su bui!
2. TAOKE, kampua dou you buak lak su buang!
3. Kompia dabou su doi yen! Ai yek di, lan nga li do!
4. Ah moi, laksa satu, kasi kurang pedas!
5. Kuey tiao song dien su buang!
6. Ha mian dui wan su wuang!

i m dying... cough cough*

Where the love last forever...

2010-06-26T19:08:00.002+02:00

Your mercy found me,
upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing.

-Hillsong Church, Where the love last forever...

*mega project coming up... hopefully this time i can train myself to sing n play at the same time...

identity (in God)

2010-06-21T11:10:00.000+02:00

will the real pat the fat cat plz stand up?

World Cup 2010

2010-06-12T11:14:00.004+02:00

i was never a big football fan or soccer, whatever u call it... but for some reasons i never knew, i will always make an effort to watch some matches during the world cup... yesterday was the first match btw South Africa n Mexico (never knew that south africa is a name of a country b4) and watching the last few mins of the match juz bring back some memories...

8 years ago, i remembered that it was after midnight, n i was in secondary sch... n as a secondary sch student, usually u r not allowed to stayed up so late to watch tv... however, tat night was the quater final match btw south korea n i-forgot-which-country-is-it-now n so i decided to stayed up late n don care bout my mum's nagging to watch it... it was a match i wud never forget, south korea manage to score a goal during the last minutes of the game n entered the finals... or is it a third-fourth placing game? nvm... back then, i dunno wat is the meaning of offside, or was it offset?

4 years ago, world cup was held in Germany, the most annoying world cup i've ever experienced, nearly 8 out of 10 ppl asked me about Germany n whether i will be there to watch it or not? the problem is, i juz knew tat i wud be studying in Germany 2 years LATER, n i noe nth bout Germany back then... n so it was the finals btw france n again-i-forgot-which-country-is-it-already, n there i were with Miss J n Miss S, my friends from kindergarten (goodness, when can u hav the chance to watch a world cup final with ur kindy frens?) n the location was in one of the tv room of my college hostel... n who could ever forget the famous headbutt from Zidane? n i thought i knew wat offside means back then...

n fast forward to present days, here i m in a small town in Germany n experiencing the football heat here... i think this wud be the most patriotic time for the Germans because i see german flags everywhere around my hostel... n even my uni has a live viewing of the first match outdoors, talking about football fever!

so wat is the point i m trying to make here? recalling the experience from the previous 2 world cups, i realise tat i was in different locations... it amazes me tat how funny God works in my life, n here i m again, in a new location in yet another time of world cup... although it's now the most crucial preparation time for the coming exam, i was being reminded again that i m not here by accident, i m here for a purpose n now i hav a new motivation to do wat i m doing again...

so having world cup around exam time is not so bad at all!

The author thinks that she knows what offside means now, thanks to Mr K. She will be having 7 subjects in july and hopes that she can achieve better results compared to last semester. N having all the cute footballers during this world cup time cannot stop her too!

ah bao

2010-06-08T19:45:00.002+02:00

tat's what i call my lil bro, ok he's not tat little, if u think i m really tall, think again, my bro is one head taller than me... anyway, it's his birthday today, n i wanted to skype but got no laptop so i wud like to wish him a very blessed birthday here, n go get all A+'s in ur SPM this year!

isn't he cute? haha... lelong lelong, satu malam dua puluh!

Love isn't...

2010-06-02T10:03:00.002+02:00

proud or judgmental...

i was browsing thru my frens profile in fb (yes, even though i don own a laptop now, my lovely housemate does) n i was shocked to see how malaysians are blaming ppl because of their race, not of their wrongdoings...

if ppl did sth wrong, condemn it, but don blame it on their race or religion...

i m glad that there r also sensible ppl around who understands...

i dreamt of a dream last night...

2010-05-30T22:13:00.003+02:00

it was so vivid that i remembered every details... in the dream, i woke up n find myself in the "real" world, n when i really really woke up in my very own bed which in the dream doesn't exists, i felt so down, reality juz hits me... literally slaps me hard on both my cheeks...

anyway, had a great day sharing n learning together with a wonderful bunch! and later got invited for dinner with someone i randomly shared umbrella with... thank God for rain! haha...

feeling very homesick now...

Lost and found

2010-05-25T11:03:00.003+02:00

I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all, i manage to push away all ifs n doubts try to smile...

n since Mr D tries very hard to win the title of best senior n buy me a cup of Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream from starbucks, here u go... the best senior award goes to *drumrolls Mr DT ... happy?

haha... i m allowed to cheer myself up after all tat has happened right?

so anyone free for an Eiscafe on this wonderful sunny morning?

not the intended one posted...

2010-05-19T11:05:00.005+02:00

i actually wanted to post sth which was running around in my head, mainly about the aftermath of the sibu by-election but then i feel like it's too much of political stuffs around (and i still want my scholarship) haha so i decided to write about sth different... no more politics... watever happens, i remain neutral... ok, maybe not... haha

n this time, it's about my recent trip to the capital of Germany, Berlin...

frankly, i din actually plan for this trip, i don even bother checking wat are the must-see-places there coz i was thinking of meeting people mostly (i juz don wan to admit tat i m simply lazy), n i m glad i met a wonderful bunch of berliners* and a big shoutout to Mr Z, the best senior in the whole world! who despite having 2 reports* to write and hand in the next week, stil brought me around visiting places n people...

during this trip, i met a girl who told me that generally germans are quite ashamed of their own history and i agreed... but that was before i took a city tour wif the coolest tour guide whose story telling skills totally blows you off n the way she presented the whole history of berlin in just a few hours of the tour make me excited even about the fact that i m actually in berlin... during my last summer trip to poland, i've learned about europe during second world war and about the uprising of the national socialist party or widely known as the nazis and their downfall... then i came back to germany not knowing what happen after tat, n this time in berlin, i relearn again the history of europe from the germany point of view...

after the second world war there's the division between east and west germany (go read urself if u r interested about this) and berlin being in east germany is again being split into east and west berlin (confusing right? then it's time to visit berlin n get it all right...) so who's the government now? west berlin then was under a jointly occupation of the 4 allied powers and east berlin under the soviet rule... then come the berlin wall who separated the whole of berlin into 2 parts overnight... basically it's a tragic! and after dunno how many years, a misleading press statement leads to the fall of the wall... how interesting could it be? berlin wall came down because of a small mistake during a press conference???!!!

ok so after the press conference, of coz ppl were all hyped out... after so many years being separated n suddenly this big boss came out n said berlin is unified again... so ppl began to march to the wall and it was so overwhelming tat the border guards decide to put down their weapons n let the ppl thru... n the day was 9th of september, 1989... who would thought that berlin is such a young city! so once again, the power of ppl overcome the authority of the east german government tat had kept them confined all these years... so i said, germans! be proud of urselves!

ok i shud stop typing n go back to my studies... ok, as u can see from my post, i look calm n smart, but i m neither both! juz realise tat i lost my second bike this year n i m not happy at all! n exams coming out in 1 month time n i m freaking out now!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg! do u sense my nervousness n restlessness n helplessness now???

***Footnotes
1*berliner in german means a lot of things, first a donut wif fillings or second, ppl who lives in berlin, and third, it also refers to the late president of usa, J.F.Kennedy

2*report in german means unending work to do, to understand this, u hav to understand that behind every report, there's sth going on, eg. a lab experiment or a research topic or a group project, n behind that is another round of preparations for either a lab or discussions and behind that is again sleepless nights or nightmares which you don understand at all coz they are all in german and behind that is a short celebration of the previous report you hav manage to put in during the very last minute and behind that is the writing of the report n the process continue EVERY damn semester... ok u get the rough idea of wat a report is now...

Sleep well oh good ppl of Sibu...

2010-05-16T17:05:00.003+02:00

coz the journey after this will be difficult...

oh well, there goes our 5 mil...

all these election news is making me hungry for kampua...

Of kopitiam n churches...

2010-05-11T17:40:00.000+02:00

That's what Sibu is most probably famous for, at least from a local's point of view...

This coming May 16th will be fairly important in my life, not only because it's a teachers' day, but also marks the first election in my life and it is even for my own Sibu parliamentary seat after I turn 21 years old. Since young, I've always heard comments like "Why do you go to vote, it doesn't make much changes." or "Don't vote for anyone, just draw a picture of a turtle on the box." and most people in Sibu vote because of some 'incentives'. Wait! What are you thinking? The prime minister did promise millions of ringgit for Sibu's flood mitigation if BN win wat?

So back to kopitiam and churches :
There is a saying in Sibu (i say one lah...) that in every 1km there is a kopitiam and 5km a church. ok that was 2 years ago and now maybe every 500m a kopitiam and 2.5km a church. So now that I have mentioned about kopitiam, church and election, what has it to do with anything at all?

During my school days, I remember everytime when there's an election coming, all the kopitiam along the main road at Rejang Park will be packed at night because there will be some political stuffs n huhu haha around. Kopitiams are commonly used as 'base' for the political parties campaign in those days.

Now, surprisingly I notice that churches have been in one way or another being 'used' as a campaign ground in the coming by-election. Political leaders are meeting Christians openly in hotel conference rooms, outside of church of course, to avoid unnecessary occurrences. Christians have been urged to come out of their comfort zone and start playing a role in the coming election by casting their vote. Since the majority of Sibuans are Christians, it is no wonder that in this coming by-election they are the targeted ones.

All this while as a Christian, I have always thought that this is one private part of my life that no one should have a say in it. It's a relationship between me and my God, but when I read the news about politicians urging Christians to come out n take a stand, it hits me that I am still living in the world and I have been sort of 'selfish' about this part of my life and think that no one else can interfere in this relationship between me and God.

As MP Ngeh Koo Ham puts it, 基督徒除了传福音，做善事，也要关心不公义的事。 (Christians should not only evangelise and do good, but care about injustice as well.)

What say you?

Side-story of the late Sibu MP Mr Robert Lau :
I've always admire Mr Lau's loudness, that's the foochow spirit - loud n direct. I remember there's this chinese new year function cum dinner at a hotel room where he came and shake hands with everyone who attended the dinner. And me and my siblings, being very kia-su, would always bring our books along to everywhere we went. So he came and saw our books, took my youngest brother's hand, looked him in the eyes n said "Keep it up! Read more books!" and I think it left an impact in him n me as well. Someone whom we always see on newspaper would actually care about our books lying around on the table n took special notice in them. That's Datuk Lau, who will always be missed by all Sibuans.

The author was born n raised in Sibu until she's 18 years old. Then something happened and she ended up in Shah Alam for 2 and half years n is currently studying in Germany. A sinner saved by Grace and wishes to be back in Sibu on the 16th of May to cast her vote while enjoying a plate of kampua.

p/s 1 : I tend to capitalise all the nouns when typing this post. So much for my german influence on my englisch.
p/s 2 : I don't like negative or attack comments. I cannot handle them AT ALL. So either positive comments or SHUT UP.
p/s 3 : People in Sibu and illegible to vote, go vote moh! If everyone thinks like you, then mah seriously NO change lor!

如果我可以。。。

2010-05-09T18:40:00.002+02:00

If i can...

If i could swim,
i wud swim over the atlantic ocean,
juz to see u face to face...

If i could fly,
i wud fly over the everest,
juz to catch a glimpse of u...

If i could stop the time,
i wud stop it when i see u next time,
juz to be forever wif u...

BUT I CAN'T...

muahahaha...

to me, everything is like a pile of shit,
but u r so special in my eyes,

because you are two piles of them...

(this is direct translated from chinese so it wud sound funny here, try to translate it back to chinese n see the essence of the joke)

to those who read this n it makes u smile, hav a nice day!

Land of the Ire...

2010-05-05T17:15:00.003+02:00

i miss the cliffs... they took my breath away...

That's what friends are for...

2010-05-02T19:39:00.003+02:00

Dear Friends,

Don't giv up on me yet! I'm still not ready to tel u all everything but i'm on my way there! Thanks for the wonderful weekend! Will try my best to keep in touch wif you all!

Yours truly,
Pat

p/s : WORLD!!! i m not ready for u too!

Words that might just change your life...

2010-04-24T01:26:00.003+02:00

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - C.S.Lewis

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible." - Author unknown

Mountain climbing...

2010-04-18T22:53:00.002+02:00

as i was sharing wif frens about my mountain climbing experience (yea, the one i din make it to the top...) i suddenly recall sth n decided to share it out here....

life is like climbing a range montain...
when u r doing it, u don really see the route ahead,
the only thing you know tat when the journey gets tough,
it means you are going uphill ;
when the journey gets easy,
you are actually heading towards the valley...
but watever happens, just keep going,
there will be ups n downs, just keep pressing on
someday somehow you will reach the highest point...

key word here... keep the faith!

talking / doing...

2010-04-13T10:41:00.000+02:00

i've been talking a lot recently... time to stop talking, n start doing it...

So i wrote a happy...

2010-04-10T22:37:00.002+02:00

post for you...

now in the process of filming the music video for Mr. K n Miss N, wif the song entitled 'so i wrote a happy song for you' written for Miss L...

had a great day today, thanks to all who came n be merry... haha... hope everyday is like today!

updates!

2010-04-08T18:40:00.004+02:00

1. it's much more easier to contact me thru fb than hp... i can't seem to find my hp nowadays, it's either on the bed, in some bags, pockets or no where to be found... conclusion : if u need to contact me really urgently, DON'T sms me... i will end up not replying u n if u r in a dying state, then most probably u will die first b4 i reply u...

2. Due to the daylight saving in europe, it started to get dark really late... n i hav this habit of waiting for it to get dark to hav dinner which works really well in east malaysia, not so well in west malaysia and i might juz die of starvation in germany...

3. i decided tat i wan to be kiasu this sem!!! exams in german, bring it on!!!!!

4. Easter trip was fun, except for the driving in city-centre part... i ended up having a swelling ankle coz of too much driving...

5. i try very hard to be funny when i write this... so laugh, or else...

我爱，故我在。。。

2010-04-07T18:17:00.002+02:00

I love, therefore I am here...

bad translation i noe... haha...

i realise i haven't been thinking for the past few months... it seems like the more free time i have, the busier i'll be... there's always not enough time for anything, not enough time for studying, eating, email, keeping in touch wif frens etc etc...

how can this be? i remember when i first reached germany, i think a lot... i analyse human behavior n how my actions reflect other ppl n vice versa... then come a point of i-don-care-about-other-ppl-anymore phase, since then i've giv up on thinking...

i oweys talk about working, but there's no initiative from me... unless the job opportunity drops right in front of my nose, i don think i will ever go work... i dunno y, i juz don feel the need to work - for me, working means being scolded everyday... so y shud i put myself in a situation like this?

i sense sth big happening, sth to be awakened... i wan to be more spiritual, not juz outer religious looks (which i don think i hav either...) i refuse to be worldly n secular, which is not really a choice i can make if i keep worrying about things n ppl around me...

aish...

Counting down to...

2010-03-31T00:16:00.002+02:00

Easter!

although i might be mourning/celebrating easter alone, i will try to make it special for myself this year...

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.

- Jesus of Bethlehem -

Walking on water...

2010-03-29T18:09:00.001+02:00

If u are wif a group of ppl who believe tat someday u can walk on water, then u can...

W-O-W!

....

2010-03-27T13:05:00.001+01:00

oh hai blog!
not ready to write anything yet...
i'm very emo, homesick n full of assignments...
hope to see u soon...

loads of love,
ur owner

help!

2010-03-25T10:39:00.002+01:00

i do not speak german anymore!!!
it doesn't seem to come out of my mouth naturally...
n i nearly fail my lab bcoz of tat...
arghhhhh!!!!!

i....mmmuuuussst... speeeeeeeeeeeeaak... sssooooommmeeee... geeeerrmmaan...

(i m suppose to say it in german but failed...)

My roots... part 2

2010-03-11T05:48:00.000+01:00

Fuzhou dialect (福州話, Foochow Romanized: Hók-ciŭ-uâ ), also known as Foochow dialect, Foochow, Foochowese, Fuzhounese, or Fuzhouhua, is considered the standard dialect of Min Dong, which is a branch of Min Chinese mainly spoken in the eastern part of Fujian Province. Native speakers also call it Bàng-uâ (平話), meaning the language spoken in everyday life. In Singapore and Malaysia, the language is known as Hokchiu, which is the Min Dong pronunciation of Fuzhou.

Although traditionally called a dialect, Fuzhou dialect is actually a separate language according to linguistic standards, because it is not mutually intelligible with other Min languages, let alone other Chinese languages.

Centered in Fuzhou City, Fuzhou dialect mainly covers eleven cities and counties, viz.: Fuzhou (福州), Pingnan (屏南), Gutian (古田), Luoyuan (羅源), Minqing (閩清), Lianjiang (連江, Matsu included), Minhou (閩侯), Changle (長樂), Yongtai (永泰), Fuqing (福清) and Pingtan (平潭). Fuzhou dialect is also the second local language in northern and middle Fujian cities and counties, like Nanping (南平), Shaowu (邵武), Shunchang (順昌), Sanming (三明) and Youxi (尤溪).

Fuzhou dialect is also widely spoken in some regions abroad, especially in Southeastern Asian countries like Malaysia and Indonesia. The city of Sibu in Malaysia is called "New Fuzhou" due to the influx of immigrants there in the early 1900s. Similarly, the language has spread to the USA, UK, Australia and Japan as a result of immigration in recent decades.

My roots... part 1

2010-03-10T12:41:00.000+01:00

Chén (traditional Chinese: 陳; simplified Chinese: 陈; pinyin: Chén; Wade-Giles: Ch'en) is one of the most common Chinese family names. It ranks at the 5th most popular surname in Mainland China and the most popular surname in Singapore and Taiwan. Chen is also the most common family name in Guangdong, Zhejiang, Fujian (spelled Tan or Chin in Singapore and Malaysia), Hong Kong (spelt Chan in Hong Kong) and Macau. It is usually romanised as Chan in Cantonese, and sometimes as Chun. In Min (including dialects of Chaozhou (Teochow), Hainan, Fujian, and Taiwan), the name is pronounced Tan. In Hakka and Toisan, the name is spelt and pronounced as Chin. Some other Romanisations include Zen (from Wu), Ding and Chern

In Vietnam, this surname is written in Quoc Ngu as Trần, and is the second most popular Vietnamese surname, accounting for 11% of the population,[1] after the surname Nguyễn (38.4%).

Chen is also a Hebrew name used by Israelis. It is pronounced khen, and means grace or favour

让我用马来西亚的天气来说爱你！

2010-02-23T10:32:00.003+01:00

it simply means 'let me use the weather of Malaysia to say i love u!'

i heard this song over the local radio today n it juz struck me tat how true this song is to me now... read about snow storm in a lot of places in the northern hemisphere n i m juz glad tat i m now back in malaysia despite the super duper humidly hot weather here... i sweat non stop ever since i step back into this country...

another interesting thing today is when i read about the strike in frankfurt airport, i can actually join in the conversation by commenting : aiya, german oweys like tat one lah, strike here strike there... ahahaha

another thing worth to be mentioned, my ability to speak foochow actually come back after 3 days here in sibu... now i can communicate quite well wif my ah gong n ah gu n order food like a local... but deep inside me, i know tat my german speaking skill has worsened... time to watch 'Hallo bei Logo!'

life is good back home!

oops!

2010-02-19T13:08:00.002+01:00

to the horror of the 2 motorists who're charging towards me, i drove on the right side of the road today... and when i notice the terrified looks on their face, i quickly steer left... so, nth really bad happens...

life is good back home!

To-do-list

2010-02-11T21:57:00.004+01:00

1. present for mom - checked
2. present for dad - half checked
3. present for siblings - check check check
4. present for everyone else - check check n stil checking

counting down to the last killer-paper on monday and IT IS DONE!!!!!

Supernova black...

2010-02-06T00:02:00.006+01:00

burnt a BIG hole in my pocket....

Contrary to popular belief, this is not for me...
it's for a much greater purpose...

oh how i wish i can own one!!!

Jawohl!

2010-02-01T19:25:00.003+01:00

es schneit immer noch, und ich mag es nicht... hab versucht viel zu lernen aber ohne erfolg... endlich geht es los, ja ich meine die Prüfung...

*** spannung***

bin nicht sicher ob ich genug gelernt hab, aber wenn ich so viel Zeit, ein Post auf deutsch zu schreiben, dann bin ich fast verrückt... Viel zu lernen, so wenig Zeit und noch weniger Platz im Kopf...

zurück zum polymethylmethacrylat oder polyoximethylen... or watever it is =_=

noch ein paar Stunden vor dem Sturm!!!

Note from God to me...

2010-02-01T10:46:00.002+01:00

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This i s God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

我是综艺咖！

2010-01-29T13:56:00.010+01:00

考试越靠近，我就越看综艺节目。其实看来看去，我大概可以知道说，哪些是故意被营造出来的节目效果，哪些是真的真情流入。而且看这种节目，一定要跟懂得欣赏的人一起看，尤其是我妈，以前记得和家人一起看吴宗宪的综艺旗舰时，她可以笑得让整间屋子都震动了起来。然后我发现，看着看着，我渐渐地对电视和电影圈有兴趣了。我可以知道说，一部好的电视剧或电影，它所要告诉我们的是什么，导演为什么要这样表达他的想法，这些演员的排位又是怎样被拍摄出来的，等等。再加上我从小就是个电视小孩，也自称从小看电视长大的。我曾经参与了以前在团契的一些表演和影片，有导也有演，也对导演的工作蛮有兴趣的。它让我可以把对一个演出所产生的想法实现，让我满足自己的表演欲（我不是一个喜欢上台的人）

写到这里，只是要告诉大家，我想当个综艺咖，不要考德国的考试！！！！

可是又想到在遥远印度的嘉文，还是算了吧，人家比我更可怜，我还是硬着头皮应付这次的期末考。

共勉之。

p/s 1 : 最近讲话会有台湾腔是有原因的。
p/s 2 : 好想家哦！
p/s 3 : 如果想留言，请以中文回复。谢谢！

最后乱加的，我爱风小岳！！！

:) :) :)

2010-01-24T22:03:00.004+01:00

feel like posting sth happy here...

i got reminded by a fren tat a blog is not a place where u juz dump all ur negative thoughts n be too emo... it doesn't show the true u... i must find a balance btw wat i blog, not too much of my negative ramblings...

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sorry din ask for permission to post this... ahaha... u guys r making someone smile here, so nvm lah... haha!

spread the love ppl!!!

Summer 09 - the sad part...

2010-01-20T12:05:00.005+01:00

during summer of 09, i traveled a bit wif a bunch of wonderful ppl... juz wanted to share a bit of what i did last summer...

one of the places i went is Auschwitz, one of the biggest former concentration camp in Europe... it is situated in south of Poland, near the city of Krakow...

The gate that make the news not long ago... and the notorious motto on it...

No one can understand...

one of the gas chamber tat is not destroyed..

one of the 6 gas chambers in the subcamp of Auschwitz 2...
all of them were destroyed b4 the liberation as an attempt to cover up crimes committed...

Execution wall...

The main gate...

more updates...

2010-01-13T23:39:00.004+01:00

i think the exam stress r coming... tat's y i keep updating... haha

ok... now i shall post about things tat i wan to do when i go back as one form of motivation for my exams :

1. EATTTTTTTTTT my heart out... eg, kampua, kompia, zhou cai hun ngan, satay, be ting yue, kui chap, bak kut teh, lo mee, sizzling mee in hot plate...
2. Go KL n SHOPPPPPPPPP til i drop, not forgetting redbox...
3. Go malacca to eat chicken rice balls n satay celup...
4. Treat my family a very nice dinner in a very nice restaurant...
5. Visit pak cik n family in Bangi...
6. Go singapore to visit uncle n auntie (of coz to shop as well...)
7. Buy new laptop...
8. Brush up my foochow...
9. Go for another longhouse trip...
10. Make a video about one idea tat has been owey been there but i never put effort to it...
11. Meeting old frens (if there's stil any left in sibu...)
12. Look forward to meet the new ppl in youth service...
13.
14.
15.

and the list goes on n on...

to be cont...

1 Peter3 : 15

2010-01-12T09:29:00.004+01:00

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,...

editted :
haha... i think i forgot to state tat this is the key verse for me personally for the year 2010... first heard it in dublin, when i visited my fren's church twice (yes! twice! so cannot run away from this verse) on a Sunday...

in other words, it means - always be ready to explain your hope to everyone who asks...

honestly, i don really hav an answer to it... how do i explain the hope i hav in me? usually i will juz tel ppl 'you juz hav to experience it yourself' but what if one day it requires me to explain it verbally, how wud i hav express it? hmmmm....

Stil thinking,
Pat