Be the change!

Strength

my holidays are slowly coming to an end... the thing i really enjoy most during the holidays is the skype calls wif my family (thanks to my frens i got a new webcam now!)

throughout the different calls i hav wif family, not all are good news... a cousin of mine juz pass away and it really saddens me when i call my aunt who still grieved the lost of her son... until now i still cannot accept the fact tat someone can juz leave us anytime without us realising it... my mum asks me to call my aunt and i m glad tat i did call her despite the fear inside me of not knowing wat to say to her... but the best thing i can do now is to be a listener and to pray for her... i've always thought that i am still consider to be young at this age to experience such things... yet another family member departing reminds me tat nth is too young or too early to happen...

Auntie Margaret, plz stay strong! i believe ah kok is now free from sufferings and is looking over u... to cousin Devano bin Hasbi, otherwise known as ah kok gor gor - Al Fatihah...

*it's a sad sad sad new year for me...

My christmas present for myself!

Minnie socks!!! thick n warm... no more cold feet!

Don't worry...

Mahlzeit!

means 'mealtime' in german... i dunno y but i keep hearing ppl shouting it to each other b4 lunchbreak, funny thing is only in this semester i realise it, i wonder wat hav i been doing for the 2 years of my life in germany...

anyway, back to 'mahlzeit', i've always enjoy the time i spend eating together wif my housemate, usually it'll be basmati rice straight from the rice cooker with vegies (if i m cooking) and throat-choking spicy sauce (if she's cooking) wif chicken... n we talk a lot when we eat...

lately the topic has always been circulating around 'marriage', mainly due to many acquaintances n frens getting proposed n married around this time and she has some thoughts about it too n shared about her plans in the next 3 years before she graduate n wat is she going to do after graduation... n she asked me whether i'm ready for marriage! then it got me thinking, hold on a sec! there's still so much things i haven't accomplish as a single-n-stil-mingling person, my plans of europe trip wif parents, volunteering for london olympics (just send out my application last week), my african dream, gap years, short-term-mission-b4-i-turn-25-pledge etc etc... (sorry grace, i've been seriously thinking about the trans-asia-trip but i felt like it doesn't benefit others much so i'll giv it a skip)

so the plan is, to accomplish everything b4 i graduate, coz after tat will be a whole new world n so many things to consider - time factor, financial status, relationship n the list goes on... time oh time, plz wait!

Mary stayed out all night...

Spoiler alert!

매리는 외박중 / Maerineun Oebakjoong

The latest craze of my life now... the only thing i look forward to on Mondays... omg, they are going to find out tat all this while 'the marriage' is fake and tat JGS is really starting to like MGY! can't wait for next monday!

my dream hair, red-purple wif wavy bob...

Decisions, decisions...

the time has come...

my fringe has now outgrown my eyebrows, time to decide, to cut or not to cut, to keep or not to keep the fringe, m i at peace wif my heart? do i feel reluctant to cut it? will it affect my head? are my eyes happy that they will be covered? Will my ears catch a cold when they are exposed? so much things to consider!

juz a preview of my series of reflection on 2010! time to call it a wrap!

Yours truly

Things planned for today...

prepare for communion on sunday, class, grocery shopping, christmas market, glühwein, dinner with Rolf

if i continue to blog so shortly, i might as well switch to twitter or tumblr... haha

To-do-list

1. Call taxi fella - check
2. Call phone company - check
3. Call company Z* - check
4. Don't jump from balcony - check

What is this feeling?

butterflies in your stomach...

Wonders...

It has been a while since i feel like this... restlessness - fidgeting in my seat as i m typing this now... the reason being - my first interview for my internship next tuesday!


once again, God shows me that He can and still work wonders in my life... n yours too!

feel like taking photos...

so i shall update u all wif a photo post...

Ah gong



Ah bao

both of them together...

Be myself

There's not many ppl out there who let me be myself when i am around with them. That's the main identity issue i face when i am wif different ppl because i don't know how to react to them anymore. To some ppl i can easily be myself, to others, i just hav to put on a mask.

This post is for those who trust me and appreciate me for being who i am, the real me. Thank you very much!

btw, i juz found a verse that really strike me regarding wat i faced last week :

James 1:19
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Just in time to learn this precious lesson!

Help!

trying to do CPR on my drowning N82... more updates later...

#update!
my phone was resurrected from the dead!!! hair dryer works wonders i tel u! my N82 is such a strong-hearted phone who doesn't giv up on it's owner yet!

anger management...

yesterday, i felt this huge ball of fire burning inside me, a sudden anger juz swept over me and i found out tat i cannot contain it and decided to pour out everything here... in the end, i could not find peace within me even after i post it up and then later deleted the post because i noe tat it does not glorify God...

after tat, i went n take a warm shower (i noe i m suppose to take a cold shower to cool myself down but the weather here doesn't permit it) and tat's when i hear a voice telling me,

"Why is it tat u can hate what other ppl did so much, but u can't hate the little things tat u do behind me?"

yes, i can be quick wif my emotions when i see unjust things happening, but y can't i be SO angry wif myself when the thought of not going to class or not wanting to do dishes or not wanting to shake hand wif ppl tat i tot were 'smelly' cross my mind?

maybe it's juz pms - post malaysia syndrome lah... wat were u thinking???

this is so true...

有一種女孩子在陌生人面前會很安靜，很冷漠，
在熟人面前卻很放肆，很霸道，
並喜歡一咋一呼的說：“滾，滾蛋，壞蛋，笨蛋”。
不要認為她很粗魯，她只是很單純的認為，
大家打打鬧鬧，罵罵笑笑，表示更親切，更不分你我。

這一種女孩子不談戀愛，只在姐妹間遊蕩
即使有不錯的朋友，她還是無奈的笑笑
其實她只是在不能確定自己付出的前提下
不會接受，因為不想傷害。

這一種女孩子偶爾看到街上的情侶時，
也會幻想，也會羡慕，
幻想著將來自己的戀愛
該是多麼的帥氣，多麼的溫柔，多麼的甜蜜

這一種女孩子，
喜歡和自己的姐妹在一起打鬧，大呼小叫。
即使沒有男朋友，
在她的世界裏，也有她的驕傲！

這種女孩子也會偶爾的憂鬱，
朋友問她怎麼了 她也只會說沒事
其實她只是感覺累了，
她只是需要一個擁抱。

這種女孩子不會輕易戀愛，戀愛了一定會好好珍惜。
她會驕傲的拉著他的手大街小逛，
不要認為她放肆，
她只是答應過姐妹們幸福要大家一塊分享。

這樣的女孩子戀愛的時候
喜歡大事聽男孩子的而在小事上調皮，耍賴。
不要認為她太小氣，蠻不講理，
其實在她調皮的習慣裏已經為你收斂不少！

這樣的女孩子不允許男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的辦了對不起她的事，
她一定會狠心的離開你。
不要怪她太絕情，
她其實很愛你，但是卑微的愛情她不要，
她果斷的轉身只是不想讓你看見她滑落的淚水！

這樣的女孩子失戀的時候會在別人面前裝的很好，
大聲的笑，放聲的鬧。
當姐妹心疼的說：“你沒事吧？”
她會放下她所有的驕傲，趴到姐妹懷裏哭。
哭完了，苦笑一聲：沒想到我還會為一個男的哭。

若你遇到了這樣的女孩，
如果你們是朋友，請原諒她平日的不理不睬，
其實她只是不會社交，不敢打擾，
你想想你的每一次邀約，她拒絕過你。
如果你喜歡上她，請你不要說出來，
因為她很幼稚，你會嚇跑她。
原諒她的冷漠，
她只是怕傷害你！

若她喜歡上你，請你不要在她的世界裏消失。
她沒有更多的要求，不會打擾你的生活。
她只是想靜靜的看著你，
當你的觀眾，僅此而已。

如果你們已經在一起了，
請你好好珍惜她。
這樣的女孩子、太傻，
請你別讓她受傷。

這一種女孩子就以這樣的方式生活著，
她有她的夢想，她的希望。
一個如花兒般的女孩子，
她時而快樂，時而憂傷；
時而鬱悶，時而瘋狂；
時而邪惡，時而善良；
時而脆弱，時而堅強！
你可以說她傻，也可以罵她笨，也可以說她冷，
但是她們還是生活在自己的世界裏，
希望做一個幸福、善良的孩子！

taken without consent from fb... haha

farnie...

i've always try to be funny, hav to admit tat i'm quite good at it too...

then someone comes to me and asks me this question :

"Does the world hates u?"

and leaves me dumbfounded...

i guess the answer is,

"no, not yet..."

someday, i hope it does...

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, since I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. " John 15 : 18-19

Roman Holiday...

it was yet another summer, and a pretty good one too... one of the places i've been to during this summer is non other than Rome, the capital of Italy, infested wif tourists, but i can see why...

after coming back from there, i guess wat the lonely planet book says about rome is quite true :

1. When it comes to seeing the sights, that old adage Roma, non basta una vita (Rome, a lifetime is not enough), couldn't be more true.

2. Possibly the only European capital with more ruins than dog poop, Rome boasts thousands of years of visible history.

3. Regarding driving in Rome, the rule is in Rome is to look straight ahead to watch the vehicles in front and pray that those behind are watching you.

Sorry for the lack of photos in this post, i, being smart this time, din even bother bringing my camera due to reason i don even noe myself... anyway, at least i get to be the model of 4 other photographers... haha

I don understand...

I can never understand what u actually wan?

After so many years, u still dunno wat i wan???

Ya lor...

I bet you actually know wat i wan, but its just tat u pretend tat u dunno...

got meh???


-Next time, if anyone ask me wat i wan, i will shout back "YOU KNEW IT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE U ACTUALLY DARE TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION!!!!!"

If i were a movie...

it would be 大兵小将 or Little Big Soldier by Jackie Chan and Wang Leehom.

Most probably u will think that it's because of Leehom tat i watch this movie (check out the poster, i don even noe tat's leehom there) yes i do admit tat... haha... but the reason i like it is just simply because of how much this movie reminds me of the choices that life offers...

There's 2 character in the movie : a big soldier (大兵) and a small general (小将)

You can either choose to be like Jackie Chan or Leehom. Both have different life purposes, one is to just live a simple life as a farmer after the war n the other hopes to reunite all the small kingdoms in today's China. Of coz there's a twist towards the end, (spoiler alert!) none of them succeed...

This is one of the very few movies i watch this year, n also one of the very rare movies that actually makes me think (the last one was siderman 3 or was it spiderman 2 i forgot...)

just watch it n enjoy it! it might not be the best movie around but still worth watching...

路，是人走出来的。。。

那你要走去哪里？

走到我想到的地方啊。

哇，那要走好远哦！

。。。

Who's my happily-ever-after?

When it comes to BGR topics, i always thought i knew it all... until i was in CA n the theme was yet another session of the BGR topic... but i was reminded once again, that God is actually sparing my future husband all the pains n troubles if i were to meet him now so unprepared, n tat i shud not pester God over n over again to show me who's the Mr-Right from the example of Adam and Eve. It was refreshing to know all these things that shows God majestic plans for all humankind.

haih... being God is so not easy... kesian Him...

100

to the loads of new faces i met during my short trip to SA,
although i could not remember all ur names n faces, ( i don even bother asking for names coz i noe i will eventually forget them all) it's a pleasure meeting u all. i hope one day we will meet again, if not, i hope u will remember the very noisy senior who was in CA way b4 all of u. hahaha...

to those getting their a-level results,
congrats if u got all *(stars) - it's the latest trend, all A's are not enough to satisfy the smart scholars nowadays... n to those who didn't, don lose heart, always remember tat there's someone like me who exists to make ur results seems really good already in comparison...

to the wonderful bunch in CA,
i still felt like i m part of CA even after nearly 2 years of absence from 'the atmosphere'... i was surprise to see a few familiar faces from my school n church last time, thanks for accommodating me n thought tat i were the new junior... haha

God bless!

Life lesson in the car (Part 1)

I mention in my previous post tat i hav been driving a lot since coming back... most of the time it will be fetching my youngest bro around to different tuition centres located in different corners all around sibu, i wonder where he got all the contacts from... so since he is he only one among my other siblings who is stil in sibu, so i hav no choice but to bully him coz the others r not around to be bullied... haha

so on one particular day, i asked him in the car :
"so i heard they call u XXX (a very rude word in foochow) in class..."

he answered back almost immediately :
"aiya u r so not open minded like mum, in my class XXX means good fren..."

upon hearing this, i immediately raise my voice (young kids nowadays!) :
"so if someone murder someone, wat do u call him? a murderer right? so in this case, if someone call u XXX, then r u one big fat XXX too?"

NO

THEN Y DO U LET OTHERS CALL U XXX?

FREN MAH...

UR HEAD! THEN IF A MAN KILLED ANOTHER MAN, ALTHOUGH THE OTHER GUY WILLINGLY ASK THE MAN TO KILL HIM, HE IS STILL A MURDERER RIGHT? SO EVEN IF U WILLINGLY WANTED TO BE CALL XXX, U R STIL A XXX, NOT A FREN!!!!

(nods in agree...) speechless for a while, n finally admit tat i hav a point there...

*phew, i don even know wat i was saying actually... haha

*the conversation took part in mandarin, so above is juz a translation...

Home

after coming back for 3 days, i finally manage to catch a glimpse of wat has been planned for me to come back... i noe there is a call for me to come back, i juz dunno y... many times i regret the decision, i call it a harsh one, but now i start to see the whole big pic... staying back in germany can be a good time for me to build up myself, but coming back home can help build up my whole family n community, as well as myself... so i m now on a journey to rediscover myself n how i can help others... so the next few posts will be a series of guide to know myself n my community (foochows, family n church) n where it all begins... make sure u come back again next time if u wud like to know more about me...

Things i practice

before going to bed...

1. TAOKENIONG, da qian bing su bui!
2. TAOKE, kampua dou you buak lak su buang!
3. Kompia dabou su doi yen! Ai yek di, lan nga li do!
4. Ah moi, laksa satu, kasi kurang pedas!
5. Kuey tiao song dien su buang!
6. Ha mian dui wan su wuang!

i m dying... cough cough*

Where the love last forever...

Your mercy found me,
upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing.

-Hillsong Church, Where the love last forever...

*mega project coming up... hopefully this time i can train myself to sing n play at the same time...

identity (in God)

will the real pat the fat cat plz stand up?

World Cup 2010

i was never a big football fan or soccer, whatever u call it... but for some reasons i never knew, i will always make an effort to watch some matches during the world cup... yesterday was the first match btw South Africa n Mexico (never knew that south africa is a name of a country b4) and watching the last few mins of the match juz bring back some memories...

8 years ago, i remembered that it was after midnight, n i was in secondary sch... n as a secondary sch student, usually u r not allowed to stayed up so late to watch tv... however, tat night was the quater final match btw south korea n i-forgot-which-country-is-it-now n so i decided to stayed up late n don care bout my mum's nagging to watch it... it was a match i wud never forget, south korea manage to score a goal during the last minutes of the game n entered the finals... or is it a third-fourth placing game? nvm... back then, i dunno wat is the meaning of offside, or was it offset?

4 years ago, world cup was held in Germany, the most annoying world cup i've ever experienced, nearly 8 out of 10 ppl asked me about Germany n whether i will be there to watch it or not? the problem is, i juz knew tat i wud be studying in Germany 2 years LATER, n i noe nth bout Germany back then... n so it was the finals btw france n again-i-forgot-which-country-is-it-already, n there i were with Miss J n Miss S, my friends from kindergarten (goodness, when can u hav the chance to watch a world cup final with ur kindy frens?) n the location was in one of the tv room of my college hostel... n who could ever forget the famous headbutt from Zidane? n i thought i knew wat offside means back then...

n fast forward to present days, here i m in a small town in Germany n experiencing the football heat here... i think this wud be the most patriotic time for the Germans because i see german flags everywhere around my hostel... n even my uni has a live viewing of the first match outdoors, talking about football fever!

so wat is the point i m trying to make here? recalling the experience from the previous 2 world cups, i realise tat i was in different locations... it amazes me tat how funny God works in my life, n here i m again, in a new location in yet another time of world cup... although it's now the most crucial preparation time for the coming exam, i was being reminded again that i m not here by accident, i m here for a purpose n now i hav a new motivation to do wat i m doing again...

so having world cup around exam time is not so bad at all!

The author thinks that she knows what offside means now, thanks to Mr K. She will be having 7 subjects in july and hopes that she can achieve better results compared to last semester. N having all the cute footballers during this world cup time cannot stop her too!

ah bao

tat's what i call my lil bro, ok he's not tat little, if u think i m really tall, think again, my bro is one head taller than me... anyway, it's his birthday today, n i wanted to skype but got no laptop so i wud like to wish him a very blessed birthday here, n go get all A+'s in ur SPM this year!

isn't he cute? haha... lelong lelong, satu malam dua puluh!

Love isn't...

proud or judgmental...

i was browsing thru my frens profile in fb (yes, even though i don own a laptop now, my lovely housemate does) n i was shocked to see how malaysians are blaming ppl because of their race, not of their wrongdoings...

if ppl did sth wrong, condemn it, but don blame it on their race or religion...

i m glad that there r also sensible ppl around who understands...

i dreamt of a dream last night...

it was so vivid that i remembered every details... in the dream, i woke up n find myself in the "real" world, n when i really really woke up in my very own bed which in the dream doesn't exists, i felt so down, reality juz hits me... literally slaps me hard on both my cheeks...

anyway, had a great day sharing n learning together with a wonderful bunch! and later got invited for dinner with someone i randomly shared umbrella with... thank God for rain! haha...

feeling very homesick now...

Lost and found

I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all, i manage to push away all ifs n doubts try to smile...

n since Mr D tries very hard to win the title of best senior n buy me a cup of Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream from starbucks, here u go... the best senior award goes to *drumrolls Mr DT ... happy?

haha... i m allowed to cheer myself up after all tat has happened right?

so anyone free for an Eiscafe on this wonderful sunny morning?

not the intended one posted...

i actually wanted to post sth which was running around in my head, mainly about the aftermath of the sibu by-election but then i feel like it's too much of political stuffs around (and i still want my scholarship) haha so i decided to write about sth different... no more politics... watever happens, i remain neutral... ok, maybe not... haha

n this time, it's about my recent trip to the capital of Germany, Berlin...

frankly, i din actually plan for this trip, i don even bother checking wat are the must-see-places there coz i was thinking of meeting people mostly (i juz don wan to admit tat i m simply lazy), n i m glad i met a wonderful bunch of berliners* and a big shoutout to Mr Z, the best senior in the whole world! who despite having 2 reports* to write and hand in the next week, stil brought me around visiting places n people...

during this trip, i met a girl who told me that generally germans are quite ashamed of their own history and i agreed... but that was before i took a city tour wif the coolest tour guide whose story telling skills totally blows you off n the way she presented the whole history of berlin in just a few hours of the tour make me excited even about the fact that i m actually in berlin... during my last summer trip to poland, i've learned about europe during second world war and about the uprising of the national socialist party or widely known as the nazis and their downfall... then i came back to germany not knowing what happen after tat, n this time in berlin, i relearn again the history of europe from the germany point of view...

after the second world war there's the division between east and west germany (go read urself if u r interested about this) and berlin being in east germany is again being split into east and west berlin (confusing right? then it's time to visit berlin n get it all right...) so who's the government now? west berlin then was under a jointly occupation of the 4 allied powers and east berlin under the soviet rule... then come the berlin wall who separated the whole of berlin into 2 parts overnight... basically it's a tragic! and after dunno how many years, a misleading press statement leads to the fall of the wall... how interesting could it be? berlin wall came down because of a small mistake during a press conference???!!!

ok so after the press conference, of coz ppl were all hyped out... after so many years being separated n suddenly this big boss came out n said berlin is unified again... so ppl began to march to the wall and it was so overwhelming tat the border guards decide to put down their weapons n let the ppl thru... n the day was 9th of september, 1989... who would thought that berlin is such a young city! so once again, the power of ppl overcome the authority of the east german government tat had kept them confined all these years... so i said, germans! be proud of urselves!

ok i shud stop typing n go back to my studies... ok, as u can see from my post, i look calm n smart, but i m neither both! juz realise tat i lost my second bike this year n i m not happy at all! n exams coming out in 1 month time n i m freaking out now!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg! do u sense my nervousness n restlessness n helplessness now???

***Footnotes
1*berliner in german means a lot of things, first a donut wif fillings or second, ppl who lives in berlin, and third, it also refers to the late president of usa, J.F.Kennedy

2*report in german means unending work to do, to understand this, u hav to understand that behind every report, there's sth going on, eg. a lab experiment or a research topic or a group project, n behind that is another round of preparations for either a lab or discussions and behind that is again sleepless nights or nightmares which you don understand at all coz they are all in german and behind that is a short celebration of the previous report you hav manage to put in during the very last minute and behind that is the writing of the report n the process continue EVERY damn semester... ok u get the rough idea of wat a report is now...

Sleep well oh good ppl of Sibu...

coz the journey after this will be difficult...

oh well, there goes our 5 mil...

all these election news is making me hungry for kampua...

Of kopitiam n churches...

That's what Sibu is most probably famous for, at least from a local's point of view...

This coming May 16th will be fairly important in my life, not only because it's a teachers' day, but also marks the first election in my life and it is even for my own Sibu parliamentary seat after I turn 21 years old. Since young, I've always heard comments like "Why do you go to vote, it doesn't make much changes." or "Don't vote for anyone, just draw a picture of a turtle on the box." and most people in Sibu vote because of some 'incentives'. Wait! What are you thinking? The prime minister did promise millions of ringgit for Sibu's flood mitigation if BN win wat?

So back to kopitiam and churches :
There is a saying in Sibu (i say one lah...) that in every 1km there is a kopitiam and 5km a church. ok that was 2 years ago and now maybe every 500m a kopitiam and 2.5km a church. So now that I have mentioned about kopitiam, church and election, what has it to do with anything at all?

During my school days, I remember everytime when there's an election coming, all the kopitiam along the main road at Rejang Park will be packed at night because there will be some political stuffs n huhu haha around. Kopitiams are commonly used as 'base' for the political parties campaign in those days.

Now, surprisingly I notice that churches have been in one way or another being 'used' as a campaign ground in the coming by-election. Political leaders are meeting Christians openly in hotel conference rooms, outside of church of course, to avoid unnecessary occurrences. Christians have been urged to come out of their comfort zone and start playing a role in the coming election by casting their vote. Since the majority of Sibuans are Christians, it is no wonder that in this coming by-election they are the targeted ones.

All this while as a Christian, I have always thought that this is one private part of my life that no one should have a say in it. It's a relationship between me and my God, but when I read the news about politicians urging Christians to come out n take a stand, it hits me that I am still living in the world and I have been sort of 'selfish' about this part of my life and think that no one else can interfere in this relationship between me and God.

As MP Ngeh Koo Ham puts it, 基督徒除了传福音，做善事，也要关心不公义的事。 (Christians should not only evangelise and do good, but care about injustice as well.)

What say you?


Side-story of the late Sibu MP Mr Robert Lau :
I've always admire Mr Lau's loudness, that's the foochow spirit - loud n direct. I remember there's this chinese new year function cum dinner at a hotel room where he came and shake hands with everyone who attended the dinner. And me and my siblings, being very kia-su, would always bring our books along to everywhere we went. So he came and saw our books, took my youngest brother's hand, looked him in the eyes n said "Keep it up! Read more books!" and I think it left an impact in him n me as well. Someone whom we always see on newspaper would actually care about our books lying around on the table n took special notice in them. That's Datuk Lau, who will always be missed by all Sibuans.


The author was born n raised in Sibu until she's 18 years old. Then something happened and she ended up in Shah Alam for 2 and half years n is currently studying in Germany. A sinner saved by Grace and wishes to be back in Sibu on the 16th of May to cast her vote while enjoying a plate of kampua.


p/s 1 : I tend to capitalise all the nouns when typing this post. So much for my german influence on my englisch.
p/s 2 : I don't like negative or attack comments. I cannot handle them AT ALL. So either positive comments or SHUT UP.
p/s 3 : People in Sibu and illegible to vote, go vote moh! If everyone thinks like you, then mah seriously NO change lor!

如果我可以。。。

If i can...

If i could swim,
i wud swim over the atlantic ocean,
juz to see u face to face...

If i could fly,
i wud fly over the everest,
juz to catch a glimpse of u...

If i could stop the time,
i wud stop it when i see u next time,
juz to be forever wif u...

BUT I CAN'T...

muahahaha...

to me, everything is like a pile of shit,
but u r so special in my eyes,




because you are two piles of them...


(this is direct translated from chinese so it wud sound funny here, try to translate it back to chinese n see the essence of the joke)

to those who read this n it makes u smile, hav a nice day!

Land of the Ire...

i miss the cliffs... they took my breath away...

That's what friends are for...

Dear Friends,

Don't giv up on me yet! I'm still not ready to tel u all everything but i'm on my way there! Thanks for the wonderful weekend! Will try my best to keep in touch wif you all!

Yours truly,
Pat


p/s : WORLD!!! i m not ready for u too!

Words that might just change your life...

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - C.S.Lewis

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible." - Author unknown

Mountain climbing...

as i was sharing wif frens about my mountain climbing experience (yea, the one i din make it to the top...) i suddenly recall sth n decided to share it out here....

life is like climbing a range montain...
when u r doing it, u don really see the route ahead,
the only thing you know tat when the journey gets tough,
it means you are going uphill ;
when the journey gets easy,
you are actually heading towards the valley...
but watever happens, just keep going,
there will be ups n downs, just keep pressing on
someday somehow you will reach the highest point...

key word here... keep the faith!

talking / doing...

i've been talking a lot recently... time to stop talking, n start doing it...

So i wrote a happy...

post for you...

now in the process of filming the music video for Mr. K n Miss N, wif the song entitled 'so i wrote a happy song for you' written for Miss L...

had a great day today, thanks to all who came n be merry... haha... hope everyday is like today!

updates!

1. it's much more easier to contact me thru fb than hp... i can't seem to find my hp nowadays, it's either on the bed, in some bags, pockets or no where to be found... conclusion : if u need to contact me really urgently, DON'T sms me... i will end up not replying u n if u r in a dying state, then most probably u will die first b4 i reply u...

2. Due to the daylight saving in europe, it started to get dark really late... n i hav this habit of waiting for it to get dark to hav dinner which works really well in east malaysia, not so well in west malaysia and i might juz die of starvation in germany...

3. i decided tat i wan to be kiasu this sem!!! exams in german, bring it on!!!!!

4. Easter trip was fun, except for the driving in city-centre part... i ended up having a swelling ankle coz of too much driving...

5. i try very hard to be funny when i write this... so laugh, or else...

我爱，故我在。。。

I love, therefore I am here...

bad translation i noe... haha...

i realise i haven't been thinking for the past few months... it seems like the more free time i have, the busier i'll be... there's always not enough time for anything, not enough time for studying, eating, email, keeping in touch wif frens etc etc...

how can this be? i remember when i first reached germany, i think a lot... i analyse human behavior n how my actions reflect other ppl n vice versa... then come a point of i-don-care-about-other-ppl-anymore phase, since then i've giv up on thinking...

i oweys talk about working, but there's no initiative from me... unless the job opportunity drops right in front of my nose, i don think i will ever go work... i dunno y, i juz don feel the need to work - for me, working means being scolded everyday... so y shud i put myself in a situation like this?

i sense sth big happening, sth to be awakened... i wan to be more spiritual, not juz outer religious looks (which i don think i hav either...) i refuse to be worldly n secular, which is not really a choice i can make if i keep worrying about things n ppl around me...

aish...

Counting down to...

Easter!

although i might be mourning/celebrating easter alone, i will try to make it special for myself this year...

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.

- Jesus of Bethlehem -

Walking on water...

If u are wif a group of ppl who believe tat someday u can walk on water, then u can...

W-O-W!

....

oh hai blog!
not ready to write anything yet...
i'm very emo, homesick n full of assignments...
hope to see u soon...

loads of love,
ur owner

help!

i do not speak german anymore!!!
it doesn't seem to come out of my mouth naturally...
n i nearly fail my lab bcoz of tat...
arghhhhh!!!!!

i....mmmuuuussst... speeeeeeeeeeeeaak... sssooooommmeeee... geeeerrmmaan...

(i m suppose to say it in german but failed...)

My roots... part 2

Fuzhou dialect (福州話, Foochow Romanized: Hók-ciŭ-uâ ), also known as Foochow dialect, Foochow, Foochowese, Fuzhounese, or Fuzhouhua, is considered the standard dialect of Min Dong, which is a branch of Min Chinese mainly spoken in the eastern part of Fujian Province. Native speakers also call it Bàng-uâ (平話), meaning the language spoken in everyday life. In Singapore and Malaysia, the language is known as Hokchiu, which is the Min Dong pronunciation of Fuzhou.

Although traditionally called a dialect, Fuzhou dialect is actually a separate language according to linguistic standards, because it is not mutually intelligible with other Min languages, let alone other Chinese languages.

Centered in Fuzhou City, Fuzhou dialect mainly covers eleven cities and counties, viz.: Fuzhou (福州), Pingnan (屏南), Gutian (古田), Luoyuan (羅源), Minqing (閩清), Lianjiang (連江, Matsu included), Minhou (閩侯), Changle (長樂), Yongtai (永泰), Fuqing (福清) and Pingtan (平潭). Fuzhou dialect is also the second local language in northern and middle Fujian cities and counties, like Nanping (南平), Shaowu (邵武), Shunchang (順昌), Sanming (三明) and Youxi (尤溪).

Fuzhou dialect is also widely spoken in some regions abroad, especially in Southeastern Asian countries like Malaysia and Indonesia. The city of Sibu in Malaysia is called "New Fuzhou" due to the influx of immigrants there in the early 1900s. Similarly, the language has spread to the USA, UK, Australia and Japan as a result of immigration in recent decades.

My roots... part 1

Chén (traditional Chinese: 陳; simplified Chinese: 陈; pinyin: Chén; Wade-Giles: Ch'en) is one of the most common Chinese family names. It ranks at the 5th most popular surname in Mainland China and the most popular surname in Singapore and Taiwan. Chen is also the most common family name in Guangdong, Zhejiang, Fujian (spelled Tan or Chin in Singapore and Malaysia), Hong Kong (spelt Chan in Hong Kong) and Macau. It is usually romanised as Chan in Cantonese, and sometimes as Chun. In Min (including dialects of Chaozhou (Teochow), Hainan, Fujian, and Taiwan), the name is pronounced Tan. In Hakka and Toisan, the name is spelt and pronounced as Chin. Some other Romanisations include Zen (from Wu), Ding and Chern

In Vietnam, this surname is written in Quoc Ngu as Trần, and is the second most popular Vietnamese surname, accounting for 11% of the population,[1] after the surname Nguyễn (38.4%).

Chen is also a Hebrew name used by Israelis. It is pronounced khen, and means grace or favour

让我用马来西亚的天气来说爱你！

it simply means 'let me use the weather of Malaysia to say i love u!'

i heard this song over the local radio today n it juz struck me tat how true this song is to me now... read about snow storm in a lot of places in the northern hemisphere n i m juz glad tat i m now back in malaysia despite the super duper humidly hot weather here... i sweat non stop ever since i step back into this country...

another interesting thing today is when i read about the strike in frankfurt airport, i can actually join in the conversation by commenting : aiya, german oweys like tat one lah, strike here strike there... ahahaha

another thing worth to be mentioned, my ability to speak foochow actually come back after 3 days here in sibu... now i can communicate quite well wif my ah gong n ah gu n order food like a local... but deep inside me, i know tat my german speaking skill has worsened... time to watch 'Hallo bei Logo!'

life is good back home!

oops!

to the horror of the 2 motorists who're charging towards me, i drove on the right side of the road today... and when i notice the terrified looks on their face, i quickly steer left... so, nth really bad happens...

life is good back home!

To-do-list

1. present for mom - checked
2. present for dad - half checked
3. present for siblings - check check check
4. present for everyone else - check check n stil checking


counting down to the last killer-paper on monday and IT IS DONE!!!!!

Supernova black...

burnt a BIG hole in my pocket....

Contrary to popular belief, this is not for me...
it's for a much greater purpose...

oh how i wish i can own one!!!

Jawohl!

es schneit immer noch, und ich mag es nicht... hab versucht viel zu lernen aber ohne erfolg... endlich geht es los, ja ich meine die Prüfung...

*** spannung***

bin nicht sicher ob ich genug gelernt hab, aber wenn ich so viel Zeit, ein Post auf deutsch zu schreiben, dann bin ich fast verrückt... Viel zu lernen, so wenig Zeit und noch weniger Platz im Kopf...

zurück zum polymethylmethacrylat oder polyoximethylen... or watever it is =_=

noch ein paar Stunden vor dem Sturm!!!

Note from God to me...

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This i s God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

我是综艺咖！

考试越靠近，我就越看综艺节目。其实看来看去，我大概可以知道说，哪些是故意被营造出来的节目效果，哪些是真的真情流入。而且看这种节目，一定要跟懂得欣赏的人一起看，尤其是我妈，以前记得和家人一起看吴宗宪的综艺旗舰时，她可以笑得让整间屋子都震动了起来。然后我发现，看着看着，我渐渐地对电视和电影圈有兴趣了。我可以知道说，一部好的电视剧或电影，它所要告诉我们的是什么，导演为什么要这样表达他的想法，这些演员的排位又是怎样被拍摄出来的，等等。再加上我从小就是个电视小孩，也自称从小看电视长大的。 我曾经参与了以前在团契的一些表演和影片，有导也有演，也对导演的工作蛮有兴趣的。它让我可以把对一个演出所产生的想法实现，让我满足自己的表演欲（我不是一个喜欢上台的人）

写到这里，只是要告诉大家，我想当个综艺咖，不要考德国的考试！！！！

可是又想到在遥远印度的嘉文，还是算了吧，人家比我更可怜，我还是硬着头皮应付这次的期末考。

共勉之。

p/s 1 : 最近讲话会有台湾腔是有原因的。
p/s 2 : 好想家哦！
p/s 3 : 如果想留言，请以中文回复。谢谢！

最后乱加的，我爱风小岳！！！

:) :) :)

feel like posting sth happy here...

i got reminded by a fren tat a blog is not a place where u juz dump all ur negative thoughts n be too emo... it doesn't show the true u... i must find a balance btw wat i blog, not too much of my negative ramblings...

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sorry din ask for permission to post this... ahaha... u guys r making someone smile here, so nvm lah... haha!

spread the love ppl!!!

Summer 09 - the sad part...

during summer of 09, i traveled a bit wif a bunch of wonderful ppl... juz wanted to share a bit of what i did last summer...

one of the places i went is Auschwitz, one of the biggest former concentration camp in Europe... it is situated in south of Poland, near the city of Krakow...

The gate that make the news not long ago... and the notorious motto on it...


No one can understand...

one of the gas chamber tat is not destroyed..

one of the 6 gas chambers in the subcamp of Auschwitz 2...
all of them were destroyed b4 the liberation as an attempt to cover up crimes committed...

Execution wall...

The main gate...

more updates...

i think the exam stress r coming... tat's y i keep updating... haha

ok... now i shall post about things tat i wan to do when i go back as one form of motivation for my exams :

1. EATTTTTTTTTT my heart out... eg, kampua, kompia, zhou cai hun ngan, satay, be ting yue, kui chap, bak kut teh, lo mee, sizzling mee in hot plate...
2. Go KL n SHOPPPPPPPPP til i drop, not forgetting redbox...
3. Go malacca to eat chicken rice balls n satay celup...
4. Treat my family a very nice dinner in a very nice restaurant...
5. Visit pak cik n family in Bangi...
6. Go singapore to visit uncle n auntie (of coz to shop as well...)
7. Buy new laptop...
8. Brush up my foochow...
9. Go for another longhouse trip...
10. Make a video about one idea tat has been owey been there but i never put effort to it...
11. Meeting old frens (if there's stil any left in sibu...)
12. Look forward to meet the new ppl in youth service...
13.
14.
15.

and the list goes on n on...

to be cont...

1 Peter3 : 15

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,...

editted :
haha... i think i forgot to state tat this is the key verse for me personally for the year 2010... first heard it in dublin, when i visited my fren's church twice (yes! twice! so cannot run away from this verse) on a Sunday...

in other words, it means - always be ready to explain your hope to everyone who asks...

honestly, i don really hav an answer to it... how do i explain the hope i hav in me? usually i will juz tel ppl 'you juz hav to experience it yourself' but what if one day it requires me to explain it verbally, how wud i hav express it? hmmmm....

Stil thinking,
Pat

What would it cost me if i post this?

i think most ppl will be 'terasa' if i post this but trust me, this has nth to do wif u personally... it's juz my opinion, nth personal... if u take it personally then it's ur own risk... ahaha...

ok, i went to frankfurt on sat to fetch a bunch of juniors... then i stayed in radolfzell til sunday bcoz i wud like to spend some time wif them n shared some of my experience n also giv some advices n warnings of things to come so tat they can be mentally prepared... of coz there r other seniors as well n frankly speaking, different ppl hav different purposes to go there, the main one being - girls... haha

n of coz the highlight of the day being the placement results... actually i hav the least interest in it coz whoever my juniors are, i will treat them the same... but apparently for the others, they r quite keen to noe who are their direct juniors...

so when the results are out, i am actually surprised that some ppl wud be disappointed when they found out who their juniors are... i mean, does it make any difference who will be studying where? it is their own choice right? and wud u treat them differently if ur juniors were other ppl instead? this does not only apply to seniors who were there but also seniors who called afterwards asking - berapa cina, melayu or india?

come on lah...

we are all jpa scholars... we are so called, the future of malaysia... and i m actually surprise to find out tat ppl who asked the race of their juniors are actually ppl i tot who were broad minded... and one more thing tat bother me is tat they will blame other ppl because of the placement of juniors whereas it's all depending on their own choice n results...

once again, i wud like to emphasize tat this is NOT a personal attack on anyone, i juz wan to voice out my thoughts about this... finally i stil don understand the point of having how many cina, melayu n india juniors?

future leaders of Malaysia... wake up plz! Malaysia needs u...

snowing cats n dogs...

woke up really early this morning to catch the earliest train to frankfurt airport to fetch the new batch of juniors n welcome them to Germany... N i was so surprise to find myself in albstadt (a place known for it's many snow... ) haha... Well, this is juz the beginning of the real winter, ready for more snow now!

My utmost for His highest...

Some of my favourite quotes from day 6, 7 n 8 from the daily devotional book, my utmost for His highest by Oswald Chambers :

Worship is giving God the best that He has given you.

We have to pitch our tents where we shall always have quiet times with God, however noisy our times with the outside world may be.

When once we get intimate with Jesus, we are never lonely, we never need sympathy, we can pour out all the time without being pathetic.

Does my sacrifice live? He tells us to give things up for the sake of the only thing worth having - life with Himself.

It is of no value to God to give Him your life for death. He wants you to be a living sacrifice.

Soldier...

i dunno wat i'm getting myself into, but one thing i'm clear -

God, i'm so ready for wat You want me to do now...

it's time to kick some butts... muahahaha

hello 2010...

will not be blogging til next year coz i will be on the road til early jan... so wish u all a blessed new year now!

so the next few days i m going to evaluate myself on the past year n also to pray n uphold my 2010 into the hands of the Lord...

hmm... time for resolutions...

bye n til next year... haha

merry have a merry christmas, today...

when i m typing this, i saw the first human being outside in the cold...

christmas is a complete different experience this year... no christmas skit, no christmas service, no christmas longhouse visit, no christmas procession,n most importantly no christmas presents give-away in the flood... haha

failed attempt to walk on water...

juz a normal day tat i wake up nearly 12 noon, eat lunch, and receive christmas wishes thru fb n also a cute christmas song from miss L, miss I and mr K... thanks for the live performance for me!

and not forgetting the skype calls wif the family... a lot of things have happened during the past months n i believe it's going to bring us closer each time...

last but not least, let me present u wif a cute christmas song...

What would Christmas be like by Mia Rose

white christmas...

is not possible coz the snow is melting now... more likely to be a brown christmas...

anyway, i shud find myself sth to do or else my mind will be wandering away towards the negative side...

i look so care-free here in this pic, like mary poppins,

like i can juz fly off wif my umbrella back home...

Should I...

Should I say to you...
"Don't worry about me, everything's fine...
It might be when i really want to share my problems, i always thought that you might not be interested or you just ask the question 'how r u?' as a greeting...

i wish i can really tel someone bout wat i m going through now... anyone?

updates!

there so many means of updating myself tat i find myself updating my blog less n less... maybe soon this will be the only place where i wan to update sth long n whiny coz i m officially tweeting now! tweet tweet! haha...

emo christmas...

Can u feel the christmas spirit already from the pic? (don mind the bad weather though)

i wan...

my blue sky back!!! giv me sun!!!

the purple building on the right is where i stay now...