twenty four

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true

I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

Switchfoot

heard this really nice song sang by Mia Palencia during UFO... it really touches me n hope it touches u as well...

People

'God has been faithful time and again to surround me with people that sharpen me and that make me better.'

TobyMac,

artist of the year,
39th annual Dove Awards.

i totally agree wif the words tat he says... sometimes, i felt God too, put different people around me, especially debaters, who always hav this winning heart when i try to discuss something or sharing my opinion to them, they will juz rebuke me instantly n not think twice about my opinion... sometimes it really discourages me a lot to share my thoughts wif some of my frens because they somehow hav this mindset tat watever they say is correct... couldn't they be a bit more neutral to listen to what others hav to say before making their remark... or could they be patient enough to listen first then comment... sometimes, even sms-es from a fren of mine get on my nerves, whenever i receive his sms, i will be on my toes to read it... i dunno whether i over-react but somehow i felt tat he juz hav to shoots back watever stuff i say to him, even though i really think hard before replying his sms-es... i seriously don't know how to reply his sms next time... i need divine wisdom, desperately...

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17

*i'm hoping tat i m juz being over-sensitive...

Routines...

Monday (21/4) - woke up at 7am, preparing myself for yet another week of non-stop-8-to-4-classes... haih... after ironing my baju kurung, i doze off on the couch while waiting for the bathroom... my roommate tried to wake me up after some time later but to no avail, i crawled back to my bed n slept off in my baju kurung... later i woke up, but it was already 9am...

Tuesday (22/4) - woke up n receive a msg from a fren to go for mcd breakfast since both of us got the free sausage mcmuffin coupon... n since today my class ends at1 pm n after tat i will be heading to midvalley to celebrate a very good fren's birthday, it really boost me up to go to sch... (p/s : first day of period so had stomach cramps the whole day)

Wednesday (23/4) - had to drag myself to sch only to find out tat my headache is getting worse, but stil hav to tahan the whole morning... really thankful for considerate lecturers... went to see doctor wif eunice n joanne, the doctor, as well as myself, were shocked to see tat my body temp shoots up to 39 degree celcius... O_O so she asked me to come back to the clinic the next day to hav my blood checked for dengue...

Thursday - finally had the chance to break off my exhausting daily routine... FINALLY i hav one day off legally(wif mc ok?) but wif my headache n body aches, can't really do much but to sleep n sleep n sleep... had my blood taken for blood test, was really relief when doctor called up in the afternoon to tell me tat i din got dengue but a viral fever... phew!!! i tot i wud die!!!

routines - it really worn me out, i tot i can get use to it after nearly 2 years of studying here but instead it got worse... i began to dread going to sch each passing days n even until now... i must learn how to go to class wif a joyous heart n really be thankful i had the chance to study here, even though its 8 to 4 classes everyday... really thank God for wonderful frens around me... I LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!

Spring in INTEC...

Since spring is juz around the corner, i think i'll post some photos i took wif my N82... (macamlah i got spring here in malaysia...)

More concerts to come...

Having been to planetshakers concert on sat n sunday evening, i start to search online for the next concerts to come n i found a cool blog tat reports on these concerts in Malaysia...

guess what??? hillsong united n passion(one band wif chris tomlin) will be coming soon!!!

Check them out here...

in the meanwhile, check out their coverage from diff ppl on diff views of the planetshakers concert...

random again...

random updates from me just in case u're interested to know :

1. lately i hav developed this super-human-sense... haha... i can actually sense tat an sms is coming thru n i will hold my handphone in my hand just in time to feel it vibrate... it happened twice this morning, n twice which i suddenly reach out to my hp n ta-dah!!! an sms came, one from my dad to show off his latest sony-touch-screen-phone n one from eunice to ask me go out makan...

2. i'm desperately in need of a mini-vacuum-cleaner... due to the imminent a-levels, my hair dropping rate is higher than usual... it can be said to be proportional to the time left for the first paper... (too much of physics)

to be continued...

I don't want to be...

I don't want to be judgmental.

I really don't want to become like those whom once i dreaded.

By the Stripes, i am healed. Heal from hurts n thorns n prickles.

Life is hard, i juz hav to accept it, n learn how to deal wif it by Grace.

I really want to learn how to be open minded to accept criticism wif an open heart.

mc-ing

had the privilege to become the second-last-CA-for-the-sem mc together wif tim, my fellow coursemate... before tat, both of us (actually me lah...) so semangat go think of things to say for introduction... i actually wanted to do an opening of a musical but since both of us can't really sing, we erm... decide not to do it in the end... haha... so out came tim wif his wonderful idea of telling jokes (quite lame one lor) so he spend the whole lunch hour telling jokes for starting of CA, introduction of speaker n also to end the whole thing...

guess wat? we only managet to carry out 50% of our plans during tat night... some we forgot, some we don dare, n some we don say at all...

to conclude, being mc is not easy at all... u hav to be flexible so as not to break the mood... but it was altogether an interesting experience... sometimes i say things not intended but the outcome was a blast... (perasan... but everyone laughing wat!!!) but some although i prepare, stil i stammered...

but if u ask anyone during tat night wat was the most unforgettable joke we made... it will definitely be the ending joke tim suggested during the very last minute... the ear cancer joke... if anyone wanna noe more, can ask the person who is in charge of the lastest CA blog post to elaborate more... haha

Assumptions...

Lately, i felt that ppl like to make assumptions (including myself) n to interpret what other says (although tat is not really what they mean)

i learn from my mistake... n hope others can too, don't make assumptions on me (sounds wrong, right?) let me put it in a simpler way, don misinterpret wat i mean by the words i say, sometimes i really don mean it but somehow ppl tend to misunderstand me... for example, i remember i told a fren i can't join an activity he organized n he immediately assume tat i don wan to go coz i spend all my money on a handphone... n another fren tot i was being materialistic when i intended to tel ppl to be contented wif their salaries...

life is indeed a learning prozess... haha

3 hours prior to my check in time...

here i'm alone in LCCT McD, determine to write the longest post ever for my blog... i underestimated the speed of KTM, apparently it travel quite fast today, i tot i will only reach KL central after 1 hour, however, it actually reach within half an hour, impressive!!! i shall praise KTM this time, n hopefully it can be tat fast everytime i took it to Midvalley...haha... today marks the first time ever of my life, when i actually took skybus to LCCT instead of the usual-super-friendly-taxi-driver-Encik-Zakaria's-awanza... the journey is absolutely refreshing, maybe partly due to the fact tat i actually encounter some problem wif a couple of my gadgets... first, i cannot listen to my fav songs on the way to LCCT coz my ipod broke down juz hours before i board the bus... i was watching the un-understandable german podcast when all of the sudden it got stuck to only one image... it can't be shut down for watsoever reason n when i plug in to my laptop hoping it can be reformatted but nth happen... my laptop can't detect it!!! sien... then i cannot on my laptop on my way coz i sort of lost my battery (i could hear ppl scolding 'here she goes again, losing things so easily...') okok, before anyone of u even start scolding me, my camera's memory card spoilt... ok, u all can start scolding me liaw... then i got no canggih fon to listen to any songs, coz all i got wif me is my dad's old 3310 n joanne's flip fon... i miss my old handphones lah!!! so on the way on the bus, i start to observe ppl due to my extreme boredness, i hear one man speaking thai/or sth that sounds like it, it was quite funny n i could not stop giggling or guessing what is he trying to say... also, i get the chance to see sceneries of KL along the way, n suddenly, the old idea of the never-acheived KL tour came back to me, i'm so gonna go on a KL tour after i came back, even if no one wants to tag alone... i will juz figure my way around KL city... i also had a good time clearing my minds off things tat hav been bothering me, n it's oso a good time talking to God n thanking him for the quite time tat i finally hav wif Him...

lately there's this hunger inside me to now the Word better... i actually been to 2 bible study this week, which deals wif 2 different topics, both in which i always have doubt in... the book of revelation and the topic of Holy Spirit... in reality, when i do my quiet time, i could not help but to ask question but somehow i always keep them to myself, some if i really cannot stand, i will ask my roommie, while some answers to my questions are revealed slowly thru meditations or sermons or what i've gone through in life or cell groups back home or CG... its good to hav questions, it keeps my hunger going n fire burning... since both the bible study juz started n i only begin to catch of glimpse of this 2 wonderful topics tat hav been so hard to comprehend, i hope i can learn more n hopefully apply it into my life in more studies to come...

then i begin to ponder on relationship... i was talking to a fren Y* E* n i mention some article i read regarding not to share problems with ppl of opposite sex, results is u might fall in love wif each other at the wrong place n wrong time... my fren, who seems reall shocked n said "y u don wan relationship meh??" i too, was dumbfounded, then i realise all this while i've been running away from relationship, or anything to do wif this topic... i oweys tot i was not ready, wat if its i don't want to be ready, ya desperation sometimes seeps in but tat doesn't affect anything... dwelling in the failure of the past relationship also contribute to my deliberate ignorance to it... n i shall continue running... haha

then to the topic of frens, i always tot life is like a vacuum cleaner, indeed it is one but somehow, during the 1 hour ride to LCCT, i realise God actually put interesting ppl in my life to spice up my life... haha... here goes, i've got one fren, who always seem to be the centre of attraction, not because of his looks but because of his charm to make ppl listen to him when he speaks n of coz, not forgetting the sudden botak-ness... another fren of mine, who looks so decent on the outside, talks really good english, but is super into heavy, hard-core black metal music, wears satanic/anti-Christ T-shirt which never fail to giv me the creeps... i've oso got a fren who likes eating so much but at the same time wanting to go on a diet, which never succeed for no obvious reasons... haha... another one of my frens, don eat anything tat has got bones, n suddenly revealed his real self to me, which shocks me deeply but i really appreciate his truthfulness... i oso got many frens, in fact most of my frens here in INTEC who studies 24/7, n i really cannot understand how can they manage it juz as how they cannot understand me... they must be wondering very hard "how on earth can Pat pass her exams?"haha...

then i start to think of the recent J** scholarship interview... to all of u ppl who think being a J** sholarship holder is very prominent, let me tell u... nth is certain in this 'realm', either u hav to work ur butt off to achieve anything u wan to achieve or u juz sit there n waste taxpayers money... and don start telling everyone at the very beginning tat u will be going to places J** is going to send u coz the next thing u know, u might be heading to Timbaktu (no offence to ppl staying there) i think J** shud really consider this, u spend so much money on sending ppl to INTEC to do their pre-U courses n suddenly they don manage to fly, isn't it a waste of money... so to all J** scholars wannabe, think twice before u apply...

i think tat ends my ranting...
will update more when i got home...
*savouring my RM10.25 double cheese burger

A burden not heavier than the cross to bear...

after being convinced by my frens tat my blog is a selat-melaka plus a bit of perasan-ness from myself, i finally sign up for nuffnang ads... after much copying n pasting n clicking for half an hour i manage to put up 2 ads, which somehow juz got there coz i hav no idea wat m i doing too... haha... but anyway, i click on my own ads n *hem *coughs *hem... hem... *i think you shud too* coughs*... and saw this ad on Eden

and saw this

He's able

yup, He sure is... coz i finally got a B for my chemistry!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! NO MORE C!!!!! YIPPEE... (juz imagine me screaming at the top of my lungs n jumping around like a mad guy)

Happy Moments...

If its not for this contest, i wouldn't have try to dig out all my pictures to have a general view of what i did for the past 1 and half years... and surprisingly, life in college seems to be another new step of my life, a new transition into adulthood n independence, living day by day with sufficient grace... so let the journey of my happy moments begins...

Happy moments are when...

...I learn how to fly like Hiro Nakamura...
(oops... Did he know how to fly?)

...I went fishing for the very first time in my entire 20 years of life.
It was so fun that i wish i could do that forever...


...CA is on for every fortnight thursday...


...we manage to finish making a Germany map to decorate our nearly-torn-down classroom...

...we get to celebrate 15 birthdays in a year together with 15 other students in the class...

...we went all the way to Stadium Shah Alam to support our own Malaysian team when they played against Myanmar during the finals of Merdeka Cup... and the happy thing is - Malaysia won!!! (Mexican wave ppl!)






















...Christmas is not about Santa Claus or Rudolf the-red-nose-reindeer but sharing your love to people on the highways n byways...






...I have the chance to visit a longhouse and experience the simple joy of the longhouse folks, especially from the little children...















...studying in the boring study room seems not that boring at all with music blasting right into your ears...

...I get to spend time with my lovely siblings back in Sibu, the land of Kampua, Kompia and loud foochows...

Being happy is not that hard at all, if you can only open your eyes and heart to see and feel wonderful things around you...

random thought...

shud i get myself a Nokia N82 or N95?

dilemma weh... how ah? both got 5gb cam...

WOHIN? - Where to?

Wohin willst du gehen, wenn du die Augen schließt, wohin
Wie weit kannst du sehen, wenn du träumend liegst, in deiner Welt
Wie du sie nennst, wie weit kannst du sehen
Wohin willst du gehen, bevor du wiederkommst und wie weit
Und wer kann verstehen, was den Menschen treibt
Den Mond erhellt, in deiner Welt, wie du sie nennst

Und immer wenn ich an dich denk, verschwindet alles rings um mich
Vom allerersten Sonnenstrahl bis zum letzten Abendlicht
Ist die Nacht vorbei, wird alles still und beginnt von vorn
Mit derselben Frage - Wohin?

Wohin willst du gehen, beim nächsten Mal, wohin
Wie weit kann man sehen, in dieser Welt, wie man sie kennt
In dieser Welt...

Und immer wenn ich an dich denk, verschwindet alles rings um mich
Vom allerersten Sonnenstrahl bis zum letzten Abendlicht
Regen fällt - ich suche dich...
Und immer wenn ich an dich denk, verschwindet alles rings um mich
Vom allerersten Sonnenstrahl bis zum letzten Abendlicht
Ist die Nacht vorbei, wird alles still und beginnt von vorn
Mit derselben Frage - Wohin?

heard this super romantic song form the movie 'Die Wolke', a german movie based on the book wif the same title... the movie is about a breakdown of a nuclear plant and 2 teenagers, unfortunately falling in love wif each other during tat time of chaos...

the song reminded me again - where is my next step? where wud i wan to go next? where is the dream tat i had hid behind my head all these years? where m i going to after this?

Mit deselben frage - Wohin? (with the same question, where to?)

Updates...

down wif a flu during the holidays and i suspect it has sth to do wif my anti-cervical-cancer-injection and drinking of too much chicken soup during the holidays... haha... til now, i still suffer from blocked-ears, meaning i m half deaf now and hav to ask ppl to repeat what they say if its too low frequency for me to catch... actually i hav been half guessing wat ppl are saying to me...

had the most normal-than-ever birthday back at my hometown, thanz to those who took the time to msg me, although some of them i had to ask who they are coz i kinda lost all my contacts when i lost both my handphones... so sorry!!! thanz for all the presents and presents to come i believe (esp from my beloved alg 10C peeps!!!)

i notice a similar trend in the presents - most gave me handphones-related items such as hp pouch or hp holder (in fact i got 2 of it)... they knew what i want exactly for my birthday but none gave me 'it'... *hem...cough...cough...hem* haha

thank you everyone for making my birthday a memorable one!!!

Thoughts on fishing... Part 2

i was kind of 'force' to lead a group during youth service, and the topic for the day is loving others... so since i went for the fishy camp, i decided to share sth on loving your friends in the very last minute... to start of, i began wif the question tat put me to awe during the camp,

"So wat is the most important command in the bible?
(so proud of myself for knowing the answer)
Love God or love your neighbours?"

Then all of them giv different answers, some answered, love God and some say love neighbour... then i tel them, its loving your neighbours... then i ask them to go to Galations 5:14... then one girl shrieked, "you mean we don't have to love God??"

"uh-oh... i'm in big trouble..." i think to myself... then she started to shoot me wif all kind of questions like "so u mean its more important to love others than love God lah?" and to the extend of "so i can juz obey my parents to not to come to church because i love my parents"

at tat time, i was so totally unprepared for it and my mind went blank, but glad i hav so many other group members, esp Andrea and Aileen, who were so helpful enough to clarify for me... they keep ensuring her that loving God is in our nature, and therefore we don need ppl telling us to love God and love others is harder because there are ppl who are unlovable... then i giv examples like "do u like ur 娘娘腔niang-niang qiang （meaning 'sissy') classmate?" (i knew secondary sch kids hav this prob) haha... and she immediately fired up and start telling the group how tat 'niang niang qiang' bully her in class... (normal lah) and after some discussion, i shared to them how we shud love ppl, not only those who love us, but also those who do not love us... and i ask them to think of names in which they will give a smile to the next time they see them... as an ending, i told them a bit about the 3 steps on friendship evangelism, to identify, spend time and to share christ's love... and we end wif prayers...

although the group discussion begin wif quite a caos i must say but in the end, it went well (thanks to the most cooperative group members tat i have) i felt tat this is yet another reminder for myself as well, to learn to love others, from the bottom of my heart, and not expecting sth in return...

回家感觉真好！

回家了。。。还以为心情会好一点，可是。。。

唉。。。都是最后一张试卷害的啦，因为它实在是 太。难。了。

想向一下坐在一个超级无敌冷的大礼堂里两个小时也，头脑都给它冻坏了，想也不能想，不管了，先睡一觉再说，反正死也是死，也不差那一点吧！

不过感谢神，总让我熬过了。现在的心情十分的矛盾，一方面开心是因为考完了，另一方面又挡心自己考不好，让父母亲失望。我不可以在拿 C 了，他们人老了，不可以受太大的刺激。哈哈！

回家了，一切都还是一样，一样的简单，一样的房间，一样的床单（我怀疑自从上一次回来后都没换过），就连大选的广告牌都还是那么的简单，不想西马那样旗帜挂满了整街，真让人看了眼花缭乱。这里顶多在交通灯的十字街头上看到几个竖起的广告牌之外，好像没看到什么了也。

回到家不到几个小时里，就给Oliver给叫去选华语诗歌领唱，谁叫我是教会少数不是香蕉人的人。哈哈！不过很高兴，一回到家就有机会侍奉。

回家了，好开心哟！！！！

一群过分的人。。。

一考完试就在我身边绕阿绕，不停地向我炫耀，好过分哦！！！ 等我明天考好最后一张时，你们就知道！！！

如果再让我听到你们去血拼的趣事，你们就完了！！！

我会报仇的，君子报仇，十年不晚。。。

Sibu decides...

more story click here

too bad i can't vote this year... wonder if i can vote for the next election or not?