Where the love last forever...

Your mercy found me,
upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing.

-Hillsong Church, Where the love last forever...

*mega project coming up... hopefully this time i can train myself to sing n play at the same time...

identity (in God)

will the real pat the fat cat plz stand up?

World Cup 2010

i was never a big football fan or soccer, whatever u call it... but for some reasons i never knew, i will always make an effort to watch some matches during the world cup... yesterday was the first match btw South Africa n Mexico (never knew that south africa is a name of a country b4) and watching the last few mins of the match juz bring back some memories...

8 years ago, i remembered that it was after midnight, n i was in secondary sch... n as a secondary sch student, usually u r not allowed to stayed up so late to watch tv... however, tat night was the quater final match btw south korea n i-forgot-which-country-is-it-now n so i decided to stayed up late n don care bout my mum's nagging to watch it... it was a match i wud never forget, south korea manage to score a goal during the last minutes of the game n entered the finals... or is it a third-fourth placing game? nvm... back then, i dunno wat is the meaning of offside, or was it offset?

4 years ago, world cup was held in Germany, the most annoying world cup i've ever experienced, nearly 8 out of 10 ppl asked me about Germany n whether i will be there to watch it or not? the problem is, i juz knew tat i wud be studying in Germany 2 years LATER, n i noe nth bout Germany back then... n so it was the finals btw france n again-i-forgot-which-country-is-it-already, n there i were with Miss J n Miss S, my friends from kindergarten (goodness, when can u hav the chance to watch a world cup final with ur kindy frens?) n the location was in one of the tv room of my college hostel... n who could ever forget the famous headbutt from Zidane? n i thought i knew wat offside means back then...

n fast forward to present days, here i m in a small town in Germany n experiencing the football heat here... i think this wud be the most patriotic time for the Germans because i see german flags everywhere around my hostel... n even my uni has a live viewing of the first match outdoors, talking about football fever!

so wat is the point i m trying to make here? recalling the experience from the previous 2 world cups, i realise tat i was in different locations... it amazes me tat how funny God works in my life, n here i m again, in a new location in yet another time of world cup... although it's now the most crucial preparation time for the coming exam, i was being reminded again that i m not here by accident, i m here for a purpose n now i hav a new motivation to do wat i m doing again...

so having world cup around exam time is not so bad at all!

The author thinks that she knows what offside means now, thanks to Mr K. She will be having 7 subjects in july and hopes that she can achieve better results compared to last semester. N having all the cute footballers during this world cup time cannot stop her too!

ah bao

tat's what i call my lil bro, ok he's not tat little, if u think i m really tall, think again, my bro is one head taller than me... anyway, it's his birthday today, n i wanted to skype but got no laptop so i wud like to wish him a very blessed birthday here, n go get all A+'s in ur SPM this year!

isn't he cute? haha... lelong lelong, satu malam dua puluh!

Love isn't...

proud or judgmental...

i was browsing thru my frens profile in fb (yes, even though i don own a laptop now, my lovely housemate does) n i was shocked to see how malaysians are blaming ppl because of their race, not of their wrongdoings...

if ppl did sth wrong, condemn it, but don blame it on their race or religion...

i m glad that there r also sensible ppl around who understands...

i dreamt of a dream last night...

it was so vivid that i remembered every details... in the dream, i woke up n find myself in the "real" world, n when i really really woke up in my very own bed which in the dream doesn't exists, i felt so down, reality juz hits me... literally slaps me hard on both my cheeks...

anyway, had a great day sharing n learning together with a wonderful bunch! and later got invited for dinner with someone i randomly shared umbrella with... thank God for rain! haha...

feeling very homesick now...

Lost and found

I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all, i manage to push away all ifs n doubts try to smile...

n since Mr D tries very hard to win the title of best senior n buy me a cup of Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream from starbucks, here u go... the best senior award goes to *drumrolls Mr DT ... happy?

haha... i m allowed to cheer myself up after all tat has happened right?

so anyone free for an Eiscafe on this wonderful sunny morning?

not the intended one posted...

i actually wanted to post sth which was running around in my head, mainly about the aftermath of the sibu by-election but then i feel like it's too much of political stuffs around (and i still want my scholarship) haha so i decided to write about sth different... no more politics... watever happens, i remain neutral... ok, maybe not... haha

n this time, it's about my recent trip to the capital of Germany, Berlin...

frankly, i din actually plan for this trip, i don even bother checking wat are the must-see-places there coz i was thinking of meeting people mostly (i juz don wan to admit tat i m simply lazy), n i m glad i met a wonderful bunch of berliners* and a big shoutout to Mr Z, the best senior in the whole world! who despite having 2 reports* to write and hand in the next week, stil brought me around visiting places n people...

during this trip, i met a girl who told me that generally germans are quite ashamed of their own history and i agreed... but that was before i took a city tour wif the coolest tour guide whose story telling skills totally blows you off n the way she presented the whole history of berlin in just a few hours of the tour make me excited even about the fact that i m actually in berlin... during my last summer trip to poland, i've learned about europe during second world war and about the uprising of the national socialist party or widely known as the nazis and their downfall... then i came back to germany not knowing what happen after tat, n this time in berlin, i relearn again the history of europe from the germany point of view...

after the second world war there's the division between east and west germany (go read urself if u r interested about this) and berlin being in east germany is again being split into east and west berlin (confusing right? then it's time to visit berlin n get it all right...) so who's the government now? west berlin then was under a jointly occupation of the 4 allied powers and east berlin under the soviet rule... then come the berlin wall who separated the whole of berlin into 2 parts overnight... basically it's a tragic! and after dunno how many years, a misleading press statement leads to the fall of the wall... how interesting could it be? berlin wall came down because of a small mistake during a press conference???!!!

ok so after the press conference, of coz ppl were all hyped out... after so many years being separated n suddenly this big boss came out n said berlin is unified again... so ppl began to march to the wall and it was so overwhelming tat the border guards decide to put down their weapons n let the ppl thru... n the day was 9th of september, 1989... who would thought that berlin is such a young city! so once again, the power of ppl overcome the authority of the east german government tat had kept them confined all these years... so i said, germans! be proud of urselves!

ok i shud stop typing n go back to my studies... ok, as u can see from my post, i look calm n smart, but i m neither both! juz realise tat i lost my second bike this year n i m not happy at all! n exams coming out in 1 month time n i m freaking out now!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg! do u sense my nervousness n restlessness n helplessness now???

***Footnotes
1*berliner in german means a lot of things, first a donut wif fillings or second, ppl who lives in berlin, and third, it also refers to the late president of usa, J.F.Kennedy

2*report in german means unending work to do, to understand this, u hav to understand that behind every report, there's sth going on, eg. a lab experiment or a research topic or a group project, n behind that is another round of preparations for either a lab or discussions and behind that is again sleepless nights or nightmares which you don understand at all coz they are all in german and behind that is a short celebration of the previous report you hav manage to put in during the very last minute and behind that is the writing of the report n the process continue EVERY damn semester... ok u get the rough idea of wat a report is now...

Sleep well oh good ppl of Sibu...

coz the journey after this will be difficult...

oh well, there goes our 5 mil...

all these election news is making me hungry for kampua...

Of kopitiam n churches...

That's what Sibu is most probably famous for, at least from a local's point of view...

This coming May 16th will be fairly important in my life, not only because it's a teachers' day, but also marks the first election in my life and it is even for my own Sibu parliamentary seat after I turn 21 years old. Since young, I've always heard comments like "Why do you go to vote, it doesn't make much changes." or "Don't vote for anyone, just draw a picture of a turtle on the box." and most people in Sibu vote because of some 'incentives'. Wait! What are you thinking? The prime minister did promise millions of ringgit for Sibu's flood mitigation if BN win wat?

So back to kopitiam and churches :
There is a saying in Sibu (i say one lah...) that in every 1km there is a kopitiam and 5km a church. ok that was 2 years ago and now maybe every 500m a kopitiam and 2.5km a church. So now that I have mentioned about kopitiam, church and election, what has it to do with anything at all?

During my school days, I remember everytime when there's an election coming, all the kopitiam along the main road at Rejang Park will be packed at night because there will be some political stuffs n huhu haha around. Kopitiams are commonly used as 'base' for the political parties campaign in those days.

Now, surprisingly I notice that churches have been in one way or another being 'used' as a campaign ground in the coming by-election. Political leaders are meeting Christians openly in hotel conference rooms, outside of church of course, to avoid unnecessary occurrences. Christians have been urged to come out of their comfort zone and start playing a role in the coming election by casting their vote. Since the majority of Sibuans are Christians, it is no wonder that in this coming by-election they are the targeted ones.

All this while as a Christian, I have always thought that this is one private part of my life that no one should have a say in it. It's a relationship between me and my God, but when I read the news about politicians urging Christians to come out n take a stand, it hits me that I am still living in the world and I have been sort of 'selfish' about this part of my life and think that no one else can interfere in this relationship between me and God.

As MP Ngeh Koo Ham puts it, 基督徒除了传福音，做善事，也要关心不公义的事。 (Christians should not only evangelise and do good, but care about injustice as well.)

What say you?


Side-story of the late Sibu MP Mr Robert Lau :
I've always admire Mr Lau's loudness, that's the foochow spirit - loud n direct. I remember there's this chinese new year function cum dinner at a hotel room where he came and shake hands with everyone who attended the dinner. And me and my siblings, being very kia-su, would always bring our books along to everywhere we went. So he came and saw our books, took my youngest brother's hand, looked him in the eyes n said "Keep it up! Read more books!" and I think it left an impact in him n me as well. Someone whom we always see on newspaper would actually care about our books lying around on the table n took special notice in them. That's Datuk Lau, who will always be missed by all Sibuans.


The author was born n raised in Sibu until she's 18 years old. Then something happened and she ended up in Shah Alam for 2 and half years n is currently studying in Germany. A sinner saved by Grace and wishes to be back in Sibu on the 16th of May to cast her vote while enjoying a plate of kampua.


p/s 1 : I tend to capitalise all the nouns when typing this post. So much for my german influence on my englisch.
p/s 2 : I don't like negative or attack comments. I cannot handle them AT ALL. So either positive comments or SHUT UP.
p/s 3 : People in Sibu and illegible to vote, go vote moh! If everyone thinks like you, then mah seriously NO change lor!

如果我可以。。。

If i can...

If i could swim,
i wud swim over the atlantic ocean,
juz to see u face to face...

If i could fly,
i wud fly over the everest,
juz to catch a glimpse of u...

If i could stop the time,
i wud stop it when i see u next time,
juz to be forever wif u...

BUT I CAN'T...

muahahaha...

to me, everything is like a pile of shit,
but u r so special in my eyes,




because you are two piles of them...


(this is direct translated from chinese so it wud sound funny here, try to translate it back to chinese n see the essence of the joke)

to those who read this n it makes u smile, hav a nice day!

Land of the Ire...

i miss the cliffs... they took my breath away...

That's what friends are for...

Dear Friends,

Don't giv up on me yet! I'm still not ready to tel u all everything but i'm on my way there! Thanks for the wonderful weekend! Will try my best to keep in touch wif you all!

Yours truly,
Pat


p/s : WORLD!!! i m not ready for u too!

Words that might just change your life...

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - C.S.Lewis

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible." - Author unknown

Mountain climbing...

as i was sharing wif frens about my mountain climbing experience (yea, the one i din make it to the top...) i suddenly recall sth n decided to share it out here....

life is like climbing a range montain...
when u r doing it, u don really see the route ahead,
the only thing you know tat when the journey gets tough,
it means you are going uphill ;
when the journey gets easy,
you are actually heading towards the valley...
but watever happens, just keep going,
there will be ups n downs, just keep pressing on
someday somehow you will reach the highest point...

key word here... keep the faith!

talking / doing...

i've been talking a lot recently... time to stop talking, n start doing it...

So i wrote a happy...

post for you...

now in the process of filming the music video for Mr. K n Miss N, wif the song entitled 'so i wrote a happy song for you' written for Miss L...

had a great day today, thanks to all who came n be merry... haha... hope everyday is like today!

updates!

1. it's much more easier to contact me thru fb than hp... i can't seem to find my hp nowadays, it's either on the bed, in some bags, pockets or no where to be found... conclusion : if u need to contact me really urgently, DON'T sms me... i will end up not replying u n if u r in a dying state, then most probably u will die first b4 i reply u...

2. Due to the daylight saving in europe, it started to get dark really late... n i hav this habit of waiting for it to get dark to hav dinner which works really well in east malaysia, not so well in west malaysia and i might juz die of starvation in germany...

3. i decided tat i wan to be kiasu this sem!!! exams in german, bring it on!!!!!

4. Easter trip was fun, except for the driving in city-centre part... i ended up having a swelling ankle coz of too much driving...

5. i try very hard to be funny when i write this... so laugh, or else...

我爱，故我在。。。

I love, therefore I am here...

bad translation i noe... haha...

i realise i haven't been thinking for the past few months... it seems like the more free time i have, the busier i'll be... there's always not enough time for anything, not enough time for studying, eating, email, keeping in touch wif frens etc etc...

how can this be? i remember when i first reached germany, i think a lot... i analyse human behavior n how my actions reflect other ppl n vice versa... then come a point of i-don-care-about-other-ppl-anymore phase, since then i've giv up on thinking...

i oweys talk about working, but there's no initiative from me... unless the job opportunity drops right in front of my nose, i don think i will ever go work... i dunno y, i juz don feel the need to work - for me, working means being scolded everyday... so y shud i put myself in a situation like this?

i sense sth big happening, sth to be awakened... i wan to be more spiritual, not juz outer religious looks (which i don think i hav either...) i refuse to be worldly n secular, which is not really a choice i can make if i keep worrying about things n ppl around me...

aish...

Counting down to...

Easter!

although i might be mourning/celebrating easter alone, i will try to make it special for myself this year...

For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.

- Jesus of Bethlehem -