Decisions, decisions...

the time has come...

my fringe has now outgrown my eyebrows, time to decide, to cut or not to cut, to keep or not to keep the fringe, m i at peace wif my heart? do i feel reluctant to cut it? will it affect my head? are my eyes happy that they will be covered? Will my ears catch a cold when they are exposed? so much things to consider!

juz a preview of my series of reflection on 2010! time to call it a wrap!

Yours truly

Things planned for today...

prepare for communion on sunday, class, grocery shopping, christmas market, glühwein, dinner with Rolf

if i continue to blog so shortly, i might as well switch to twitter or tumblr... haha

To-do-list

1. Call taxi fella - check
2. Call phone company - check
3. Call company Z* - check
4. Don't jump from balcony - check

What is this feeling?

butterflies in your stomach...

Wonders...

It has been a while since i feel like this... restlessness - fidgeting in my seat as i m typing this now... the reason being - my first interview for my internship next tuesday!


once again, God shows me that He can and still work wonders in my life... n yours too!

feel like taking photos...

so i shall update u all wif a photo post...

Ah gong



Ah bao

both of them together...

Be myself

There's not many ppl out there who let me be myself when i am around with them. That's the main identity issue i face when i am wif different ppl because i don't know how to react to them anymore. To some ppl i can easily be myself, to others, i just hav to put on a mask.

This post is for those who trust me and appreciate me for being who i am, the real me. Thank you very much!

btw, i juz found a verse that really strike me regarding wat i faced last week :

James 1:19
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Just in time to learn this precious lesson!

Help!

trying to do CPR on my drowning N82... more updates later...

#update!
my phone was resurrected from the dead!!! hair dryer works wonders i tel u! my N82 is such a strong-hearted phone who doesn't giv up on it's owner yet!

anger management...

yesterday, i felt this huge ball of fire burning inside me, a sudden anger juz swept over me and i found out tat i cannot contain it and decided to pour out everything here... in the end, i could not find peace within me even after i post it up and then later deleted the post because i noe tat it does not glorify God...

after tat, i went n take a warm shower (i noe i m suppose to take a cold shower to cool myself down but the weather here doesn't permit it) and tat's when i hear a voice telling me,

"Why is it tat u can hate what other ppl did so much, but u can't hate the little things tat u do behind me?"

yes, i can be quick wif my emotions when i see unjust things happening, but y can't i be SO angry wif myself when the thought of not going to class or not wanting to do dishes or not wanting to shake hand wif ppl tat i tot were 'smelly' cross my mind?

maybe it's juz pms - post malaysia syndrome lah... wat were u thinking???

this is so true...

有一種女孩子在陌生人面前會很安靜，很冷漠，
在熟人面前卻很放肆，很霸道，
並喜歡一咋一呼的說：“滾，滾蛋，壞蛋，笨蛋”。
不要認為她很粗魯，她只是很單純的認為，
大家打打鬧鬧，罵罵笑笑，表示更親切，更不分你我。

這一種女孩子不談戀愛，只在姐妹間遊蕩
即使有不錯的朋友，她還是無奈的笑笑
其實她只是在不能確定自己付出的前提下
不會接受，因為不想傷害。

這一種女孩子偶爾看到街上的情侶時，
也會幻想，也會羡慕，
幻想著將來自己的戀愛
該是多麼的帥氣，多麼的溫柔，多麼的甜蜜

這一種女孩子，
喜歡和自己的姐妹在一起打鬧，大呼小叫。
即使沒有男朋友，
在她的世界裏，也有她的驕傲！

這種女孩子也會偶爾的憂鬱，
朋友問她怎麼了 她也只會說沒事
其實她只是感覺累了，
她只是需要一個擁抱。

這種女孩子不會輕易戀愛，戀愛了一定會好好珍惜。
她會驕傲的拉著他的手大街小逛，
不要認為她放肆，
她只是答應過姐妹們幸福要大家一塊分享。

這樣的女孩子戀愛的時候
喜歡大事聽男孩子的而在小事上調皮，耍賴。
不要認為她太小氣，蠻不講理，
其實在她調皮的習慣裏已經為你收斂不少！

這樣的女孩子不允許男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的辦了對不起她的事，
她一定會狠心的離開你。
不要怪她太絕情，
她其實很愛你，但是卑微的愛情她不要，
她果斷的轉身只是不想讓你看見她滑落的淚水！

這樣的女孩子失戀的時候會在別人面前裝的很好，
大聲的笑，放聲的鬧。
當姐妹心疼的說：“你沒事吧？”
她會放下她所有的驕傲，趴到姐妹懷裏哭。
哭完了，苦笑一聲：沒想到我還會為一個男的哭。

若你遇到了這樣的女孩，
如果你們是朋友，請原諒她平日的不理不睬，
其實她只是不會社交，不敢打擾，
你想想你的每一次邀約，她拒絕過你。
如果你喜歡上她，請你不要說出來，
因為她很幼稚，你會嚇跑她。
原諒她的冷漠，
她只是怕傷害你！

若她喜歡上你，請你不要在她的世界裏消失。
她沒有更多的要求，不會打擾你的生活。
她只是想靜靜的看著你，
當你的觀眾，僅此而已。

如果你們已經在一起了，
請你好好珍惜她。
這樣的女孩子、太傻，
請你別讓她受傷。

這一種女孩子就以這樣的方式生活著，
她有她的夢想，她的希望。
一個如花兒般的女孩子，
她時而快樂，時而憂傷；
時而鬱悶，時而瘋狂；
時而邪惡，時而善良；
時而脆弱，時而堅強！
你可以說她傻，也可以罵她笨，也可以說她冷，
但是她們還是生活在自己的世界裏，
希望做一個幸福、善良的孩子！

taken without consent from fb... haha

farnie...

i've always try to be funny, hav to admit tat i'm quite good at it too...

then someone comes to me and asks me this question :

"Does the world hates u?"

and leaves me dumbfounded...

i guess the answer is,

"no, not yet..."

someday, i hope it does...

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, since I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. " John 15 : 18-19

Roman Holiday...

it was yet another summer, and a pretty good one too... one of the places i've been to during this summer is non other than Rome, the capital of Italy, infested wif tourists, but i can see why...

after coming back from there, i guess wat the lonely planet book says about rome is quite true :

1. When it comes to seeing the sights, that old adage Roma, non basta una vita (Rome, a lifetime is not enough), couldn't be more true.

2. Possibly the only European capital with more ruins than dog poop, Rome boasts thousands of years of visible history.

3. Regarding driving in Rome, the rule is in Rome is to look straight ahead to watch the vehicles in front and pray that those behind are watching you.

Sorry for the lack of photos in this post, i, being smart this time, din even bother bringing my camera due to reason i don even noe myself... anyway, at least i get to be the model of 4 other photographers... haha

I don understand...

I can never understand what u actually wan?

After so many years, u still dunno wat i wan???

Ya lor...

I bet you actually know wat i wan, but its just tat u pretend tat u dunno...

got meh???


-Next time, if anyone ask me wat i wan, i will shout back "YOU KNEW IT!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE U ACTUALLY DARE TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION!!!!!"

If i were a movie...

it would be 大兵小将 or Little Big Soldier by Jackie Chan and Wang Leehom.

Most probably u will think that it's because of Leehom tat i watch this movie (check out the poster, i don even noe tat's leehom there) yes i do admit tat... haha... but the reason i like it is just simply because of how much this movie reminds me of the choices that life offers...

There's 2 character in the movie : a big soldier (大兵) and a small general (小将)

You can either choose to be like Jackie Chan or Leehom. Both have different life purposes, one is to just live a simple life as a farmer after the war n the other hopes to reunite all the small kingdoms in today's China. Of coz there's a twist towards the end, (spoiler alert!) none of them succeed...

This is one of the very few movies i watch this year, n also one of the very rare movies that actually makes me think (the last one was siderman 3 or was it spiderman 2 i forgot...)

just watch it n enjoy it! it might not be the best movie around but still worth watching...

路，是人走出来的。。。

那你要走去哪里？

走到我想到的地方啊。

哇，那要走好远哦！

。。。

Who's my happily-ever-after?

When it comes to BGR topics, i always thought i knew it all... until i was in CA n the theme was yet another session of the BGR topic... but i was reminded once again, that God is actually sparing my future husband all the pains n troubles if i were to meet him now so unprepared, n tat i shud not pester God over n over again to show me who's the Mr-Right from the example of Adam and Eve. It was refreshing to know all these things that shows God majestic plans for all humankind.

haih... being God is so not easy... kesian Him...

100

to the loads of new faces i met during my short trip to SA,
although i could not remember all ur names n faces, ( i don even bother asking for names coz i noe i will eventually forget them all) it's a pleasure meeting u all. i hope one day we will meet again, if not, i hope u will remember the very noisy senior who was in CA way b4 all of u. hahaha...

to those getting their a-level results,
congrats if u got all *(stars) - it's the latest trend, all A's are not enough to satisfy the smart scholars nowadays... n to those who didn't, don lose heart, always remember tat there's someone like me who exists to make ur results seems really good already in comparison...

to the wonderful bunch in CA,
i still felt like i m part of CA even after nearly 2 years of absence from 'the atmosphere'... i was surprise to see a few familiar faces from my school n church last time, thanks for accommodating me n thought tat i were the new junior... haha

God bless!

Life lesson in the car (Part 1)

I mention in my previous post tat i hav been driving a lot since coming back... most of the time it will be fetching my youngest bro around to different tuition centres located in different corners all around sibu, i wonder where he got all the contacts from... so since he is he only one among my other siblings who is stil in sibu, so i hav no choice but to bully him coz the others r not around to be bullied... haha

so on one particular day, i asked him in the car :
"so i heard they call u XXX (a very rude word in foochow) in class..."

he answered back almost immediately :
"aiya u r so not open minded like mum, in my class XXX means good fren..."

upon hearing this, i immediately raise my voice (young kids nowadays!) :
"so if someone murder someone, wat do u call him? a murderer right? so in this case, if someone call u XXX, then r u one big fat XXX too?"

NO

THEN Y DO U LET OTHERS CALL U XXX?

FREN MAH...

UR HEAD! THEN IF A MAN KILLED ANOTHER MAN, ALTHOUGH THE OTHER GUY WILLINGLY ASK THE MAN TO KILL HIM, HE IS STILL A MURDERER RIGHT? SO EVEN IF U WILLINGLY WANTED TO BE CALL XXX, U R STIL A XXX, NOT A FREN!!!!

(nods in agree...) speechless for a while, n finally admit tat i hav a point there...

*phew, i don even know wat i was saying actually... haha

*the conversation took part in mandarin, so above is juz a translation...

Home

after coming back for 3 days, i finally manage to catch a glimpse of wat has been planned for me to come back... i noe there is a call for me to come back, i juz dunno y... many times i regret the decision, i call it a harsh one, but now i start to see the whole big pic... staying back in germany can be a good time for me to build up myself, but coming back home can help build up my whole family n community, as well as myself... so i m now on a journey to rediscover myself n how i can help others... so the next few posts will be a series of guide to know myself n my community (foochows, family n church) n where it all begins... make sure u come back again next time if u wud like to know more about me...

Things i practice

before going to bed...

1. TAOKENIONG, da qian bing su bui!
2. TAOKE, kampua dou you buak lak su buang!
3. Kompia dabou su doi yen! Ai yek di, lan nga li do!
4. Ah moi, laksa satu, kasi kurang pedas!
5. Kuey tiao song dien su buang!
6. Ha mian dui wan su wuang!

i m dying... cough cough*