Thursday, July 26, 2012

今天

今天受了点伤,在追梦的过程中。不过还是要以幽默面对,因为我要全世界知道我的低调。

Help!


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Running in circles


Let your Word over my mind claim the win
For the truth I own is but a thimble.
Let me speak of Truth with true Love within
Lest I sound the gong and crash the cymbal.


quote from here

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Coward vs Noble

2 hours to Germany beating the Italians in the semi final of Euro Cup 2012, ran-dom i noe. Ze Germans must win this year!!! roar!

anyway, what's with the sudden enthusiasm over football? Ever heard of distractions? Yup, i m trying to distract myself from my oh-i-m-so-stress-i-m-gonna-die and oh-i-must-make-the-right-decisions-if-not-i-m-gonna-die mood.

Allow me to explain more.

So there's this situation that awaits a decision. For example (just an example, not a real life problem) - where to do my masters for next semester. So after some brain wrecking sessions trying to figure out the right place to go, the cycle starts. My brain will start having some counter attack thoughts - Yeah but... what about...? and all this thoughts starts to brew sth inside me. They sounds like the best intentions when i am just too scared to do what i should. It allows me to be a coward, while sounding noble.

What is the life that i've always wanted? I m not too sure anymore. Is it about being in the student body, to travel the world, to dye my hair red, to date a hot blond guy wif blue eyes, to be able to score less than 2,5 in my bachelor degree, to get into a master programme in a big city, to get a good job after i graduate, to go on a mission trip etc etc?

I don have the answers to all the questions above, but one thing i do know is i know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Signing off
Courage the cowardly Pat

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Weird

i don't know whether it's just me but i think i've just developed a fear of quarter life crisis (if i were to live until 100 years old) Everything that happens around me seems so surreal and it is just weird. Here is a list of unbelievable events :

1.  I might be a mechanical engineer graduate soon! (if i manage to pass 6 papers and finish building my solar cooker)
2.  My youngest brother is going off to uni too.
3.  Hearing my parents discussing about buying 2 new single beds (for themselves)
4.  Start listing 25 things that I should do before I turn 25 and actually doing them
5.  Start thinking of the possibility of going on a hiking trip with my Tibet-fanatic-dad
etc etc and the list goes on

Guess what? The most unbelievable thing of all is that I am actually going to London next week! Like you, i never realise the significant of this trip to London until I was chatting with a friend and we talk about our childhood dreams and suddenly the thought hits me. I did, 7 years ago, wrote in my high school year book about my dream, one of them is to go to London in 2012 to watch olympics. Well i did not manage to become a volunteer for Olympic games this time but at least I.am.finally.going.to.London

Cheerio
Pat-going-off-to-Europe-Trip-again

Monday, May 14, 2012

Purpose

Last weekend was no doubt the most memorable one i ever had in my life where  a wedding, mother's day and a redefined purpose all took place.

Yup the wedding, can't believe my ex house church leaders are getting married. It seems like yesterday only when they approach me n invite me to join them and i mistaken them for being siblings rather than a couple. To me they always seem to have this secret bond between them, like this blood connection that only siblings shared.
and they live happily ever after...
Last but not least, THE bible verse to share during a wedding. Contrary to popular belief, it does not talk only about love between a couple but most importantly the love between people, disciples especially :
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

My Bersih Story

Nope i did not went to any event. It's just so coincidently happen that Bersih was held as the same day as the concert that was inspired by Oprah, yeah the Oprah Winfrey from the Oprah Winfrey show. Don't believe, check the poster below.

A proof that i wasn't in any Bersih event.

So this time, together with a few friends, we decided to do a Unplug 2.0 Why the 2.0 behind? beats me. i just think it sounds cooler. Nah, it's a continuation of what has been organised last time, we name the 'Hillsong conference' Unplug and we ran out of ideas what to name it again, so we add a 2.0 behind, like Nasi Lemak 2.0 and Bersih 3.0 (i hope everyone gets the joke)

Sorry for the lack of words in this post. Have been busy. *sigh i can't even find words to describe how busy i am.

By the way, one interesting comment i found on fb and i just had to copy n paste it here without consent from the author :

Kalau korang guna wang sendiri kesana lantak korangla...tapi kalau ditaja oleh kerajaan ...memang ko tak sedar dik untung...
This comment just leave me speechless. lantak lah

Monday, March 05, 2012

To-do-list in Bali

1. Wake up to see the sun rise and if possible dolphins!
2. Get a tan (which will be quite impossible wif my spf120 sunblock)
3. Attempt to hold my breath under water for more than 30 secs (well for someone who can't swim, i am allowed to have fun even in water)
4. Check out hot surfer dudes :)
5. Try out some defecated rodent coffee (ewww...)
6. Try out massage n spas
7. What's a visit to Bali without trying out babi guling?
8. Get lost somewhere
9. Find my fav spot on the island
10. Walk down the streets of Bali wearing school uniform! coz bikinis are just too mainstream... haha

This post is purely just to show off! counting down  4  2 days to Bali! :]

Friday, February 17, 2012

Things to avoid during this month

1.  Don't blow my nose out loud in public.
2.  Don't start speaking German to all angmohs i see.
3.  Don't stop at the right side of the escalator.

Ah feel like a stranger at KLIA. The only language that ppl can understand me is when i speak malay, the rest speak only cantonese which i refuse and cannot converse in. 6 hours to go and i smell like a horse. (ewww) Thanks to those who follow me throughout my journey. Your absence might be unknown but thanks for being there. and a wise man once said, (me lah)
I wish I can go somewhere and just get lost. Because the only people who ever get any interesting place are the people who get lost.

Things i learn during the flight back home.

1.  Count your blessings
The thing about flying from munich is already a blessing itself since i usually fly back from frankfurt and what actually happen is this time i bought the ticket which requires me to fly from munich when there was a huge strike in frankfurt airport. But of coz, like murphy said, if it's deem to happen, it.will.happen. It's just a matter of perspective. So instead of being delayed because of the strike, the flight was indeed delayed n my worst nightmare was confirmed when a utility truck actually hit the A380 i m suppose to board and thus leads to missing all possible connecting flights.

2. Dubai airport
it is quite impossible to walk from one end of the airport to the other end without having major leg pain n cramps. I overestimated myself when i decided to do some sport since i will be spending 7 hours at the airport due to unforeseen circumstances (plz refer to the first point above) and i also found out that it is better to walk on the left compare to the right side due to the vast existence of europeans at the airport.

3. Talking to random strangers will make them ur bffs throughout the journey
In Munich, i was sitting alone sulking at the corner when i got approached by some pretty hot blondies. It started of with me mentioning about exams and then everyone started to shout in joy as they just finish their final papers yesterday. Then later we shared all sorts of theories behind the delay and it was a lot of fun in the midst of the unpleasant delay.
And in Dubai, as i was holding my red toshiba laptop with dangling charger everywhere looking for the most optimum place with the best internet connection and source of power, i met people who are like me, stranded and with dying laptops n smartphones. And this brought us into an unspeakable bond as we look at each other like brothers and sisters. We even took turns taking naps while the other take care of all the gadgets.
The funny thing is i don't know any names of the bffs.

4. Random ppl who pops out at the unlikely hours are lifesavers
Thanks to those who had to endure my whinings throughout the journey and simply be there to keep me out of my boredom.

5. How to react during the moment of life n death (almost)
So sometimes i do things too quickly and sometimes i just like to take my own sweet time to do sth. Both has it consequences and often i regret when i do sth too quickly and when i took too much time to decide on sth small. It's really hard to determine where the balance is n most of the time i have been swaying between 2 extremes. I do notice that this time i m still a bit hasty.

Updates :  At the point of writing this post, i am still stranded in Dubai. I swear i know the airport so well that i know how many mcds n burger king are there.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

What's so special...

about 14.02.2012?

yup u got it right, it's not about the flowers or the chocolates, it marks the end of my 6th Sem or third year of my uni life. What better way to celebrate V-day than the official end of my semester after writing my last exam paper on this day itself! Not to mention that i will be flying back in 2 days time, away from this late, cold winter!

Looking back, i cannot believe that i've made it this far. 4th year mechanical engineering student soon, wow! And still surviving! Kinda want to remain a student for a while. Lately i have been preparing my parents that they might need to wait a bit till i graduate for good coz i m considering doing my PHD and then go back to my small, humble town of Sibu to work at grandpa's grocery shop. haha.

I remember blogging about the start of this semester after my internship and here am i blogging about the end of the semester already. Looking back, a lot of things has happen throughout the sem, good and bad, and some things i need to unlearn n relearn again, things lost and found, gain new friends and had to let go a few ppl out of my life and many more.

Looking forward to the new semester, i will be expecting more things to happen, life changing perhaps yet so uncertain. Being a control freak, i must admit that i am scared of the coming semester, so many unknowns out there ready to be revealed and new opportunities to be discovered. I am not too sure whether i should pro-actively go all out to seek the future or is it a time to learn how to just sit there and observe as the masterplan slowly unveils.

I'm ready for the big surprise! Bring it on!

Friday, February 10, 2012

我可不可以不勇敢?

【几米语录】每一次我都说,没事,我行。我总带着坚强的微笑,一副永远勇敢的样子, 可这一次,我想说,我可不可以不勇敢?我只是小心翼翼地问了自己, 然后又带着坚强的表情,勇敢了一次。他们都赞许地微笑了。

Friday, January 20, 2012

If...

Keep running!
If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather 
'til I only dwell in Thee?

If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 

'til I only dwell in Thee

Hymm - Brooke Fraser

Monday, January 16, 2012

Where do I stand?

Lately i have been pondering a lot on this - where do i stand, in my family, in my studies, in my different surroundings eg Uni friends and my other Malaysian friends, as a senior or junior, and my other secret identity as a co-leader in my housechurch (ok now not so secret anymore) to my team and my other leaders. It's confusing, often when i stop and ponder and stare and let everything settle down and rethink again, it really doesn't bring me any further, i mean things might reveal themselves slowly but if i juz stood there and got stuck, what's the point? The fact is, keep walking, keep trusting and don't stop n stare too long.

As the germans say, macht weiter!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What is the motivation behind?

The famous inscription on the main entrance to the former concentration camp of Dachau

Ya so i have been visiting this place during the weekend. I don't really have any expectations before i went, but after the trip i start to ask myself, what is the motivation behind ppl(me) who actually visit places like this. For example, if you plan a trip to China, you will automatically go to Beijing to visit the great wall of China because they say if u never seen a section of the great wall, u have never been to China. So wat about visiting concentration camps? Why do visitors have the interest to join a tour of any concentration camps?

Well if you are expecting answers for me, technically it's juz pure curiosity that brings me to this place, i wanted to see it out of Germany's point of view since i've been to one in Poland. But if i were to ask myself about the motivation behind visiting this-sad-place, i still need time to think about it. It's such a mixture of feelings deep inside me towards mankind.

Lately, I've been dealing wif a lot of raging hormones and overwhelming mental activites. When i thought i can't stand it anymore because i magnify every single feeling and emotions and that's why it become so overwhelimg, i am reminded once again, that it is a wacky world we're living in. Why not take everything like a pinch of salt and really, for once, just learn how to let go and let God. Going without knowing - i desperately need to learn that.


Friday, December 09, 2011

another list...

oh i juz love to make list, *glancing at the never-ending-to-do-lists on my wall... *gulps

1.  Guess what, i actually got half of the things done from the previous list! (pat Pat on the back)
2.  I should really finish reading at least 1 book out of the 5 on-going books tat i have been reading since the day i bought them
3.  Omg it's December already???!!! need ideas for christmas presents!
5.  Everyone wants to be part of sth significant and impactful don't they?
5.  I shall stop here and continue revising for my Lab-exam in 1 n half hour (u mean u got exam for ur Labs???!!)

as you can see, the list is not so list-y because first of all, it doesn't have a title, and second, it's juz some random stuff i wanted to post about but i forgot due to the hectic schedule this sem, i look forward to the day when i can pat myself on the back and say 'well done'

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

list of things i try so hard to find

but failed...

1.  My lost snow cap (still refuse to accept the fact tat it is gone, forever!)
2.  A perfect dress for a wedding
3.  A sweater that scream 'BUY ME!'
4.  Double eye lid tape/glue
5.  A pair of shoes that keep my cold feet warm yet look chic (most winter shoes are ugly!)
6.  Unagi rice! (been craving for this since i dunno when, and the craving just won't die down)
7.  Motivation to clean up my room (it has been like that since i move back last month, i am really not the neat type, and the room is making me more depressed!)
8.  More money (anyone could use some extra cash right?)
9.  A company to do my bachelor thesis (YES, i am THAT desperate)
10.  A machine/person that can help me wif the above mentioned things.

Monday, November 14, 2011

How to love and not be loved?

Small talk
Was on skype wif my youngest bro for nearly 2 hours. Nowadays with technology, i tend to forget when is the last time i see him face to face, was it 2 years ago? and with the other sister who is currently in Sydney, i cannot recall when is the last time i saw her in reality, not virtually?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

love and not be loved (back)
as weak humans, it's always easier to love ppl who love you than to love ppl who don love you back.
as christians, it's always to love ppl first, then don care about the outcome.
being both, it's kinda contradicting.

but it cannot be, because in 1:John 4:8 it says, 'Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.'


So how exactly can we love and (not) be loved
1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved us.

having said all that, it's after all, only head knowledge. It's the application of it that counts.  Some people just talk and never do it.  Well at least i talk about it, unlike ppl who don bother?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Outro
I juz realised tat i am a very complicated person (u mean u never knew this??? omg???) When i think that i can finally figure myself out, i realise it's another glass ceiling.  I don't really know what i want, where i wanna go (ok, maybe i do) what i wanna buy, what i wanna wear, it's time for a change!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Ring!

sorry for the long absence... the transition from being an intern to the only child at home and now back to normal student life has been affecting my normal routine...

things are different now, new phone (thanks dad!) new semester (erm no thanks!), new (old) hostel room, new subjects, new jacket (from pull and bear) and soon-to-be new shoes...

but some things juz stay same old same old... if i only knew who rang the freaking doorbell at 2:42am in the morning!!! it really juz bring me to a realisation tat i m back to the student life where the parties mark the start of a semester wif unconscious-but-still-moving-around-ppl ringing doorbells at night...

ah how i miss my student life! bring it on 6th sem!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

How'd everything started?

with a spark of thought!

Went to a small concert during college with some friends.  It was organised by my church and different people were invited to perform, including one local artist from Sabah whose name i've forgotten. 

Hey what if one day i can organise something like this as well.

And so i did propose it.  Told people about my plan and encourage some close friends to prepare a performance or two.  Then Oprah spoke to me, yeah the Oprah Winfrey from TV.  She mentioned something on TV about making a difference in other people's life.  So the conviction sets in, yeah I should make it into a charity event! 

After saying a quiet prayer of repentence, the small unplug concert turns into a musical festival!  I can sell tickets and donate them to help the poor.  Foodstalls can be set up and all the sales goes to cnn's aid to stop human trafficking.

Before I knew it, everything has been put on hold.  Bottom line :  I may be losing my mind. 

Current situation : me vs Oprah - should I continue with my small casual event or start organising a Hillsong conference?