Restart 2020

This year just deserve a reanimation post... For my future self, if you see this, i wish that you will look back to this year with so much thankfulness. 2020 is full of unexpected events, settling down on a second job, Covid-19, home office, first 表白... and the list goes on and on...

Looking back at the past few months, the world has thus been changed, by a pandemic. Every country is fighting their own battles for more healthcare capacities, economy crisis begins to show its first sign, most people are experiencing something they never experience before, including me...

God has been faithful throughout the years, i was thrown into a pool of reality without knowing how to swim, but there i learn to swim... with some consequences on my health, but now i have moved on...

i have learned to help myself, be brave, learn to be resillient, trusting in what i have learned, the journey i have gone through with God, everything was not in vain, in difficult times, God prevails...There are far more important things in life - Jesus saves!

New series : The beginning of an end...

Today, I've witnessed something spectacular, the waking up of Rosetta, a satellite that underwent a deep space hibernation. I found myself in a very unfamiliar environment, surrounded by a group of people with faith, and a lot of it. In a country where security comes before anything else and at a time where internet and smartphones doesn't exists, under so many unknown circumstances in the outer space, they have faith to build something that was so ahead of their time - a comet chaser they called it. And their faith is so big that it sustains them through the 10 years since launching the satellite, and the pessimism of people around them.

So 20 years later, I have the honour to stumble upon an invitation to the Waking Up Event of Rosetta on facebook that I thought would be interesting for Miss G. I have no idea that it will be a life changing moment for me as well. I came from a place deemed of its great politeness of not saying 'No'. Contrary to my expectations, what I didn't realise is that how personal is the satellite to the people who are at the live event - tears were shed, emotions shown.

Hours of waiting for a slight change in the spectrum detector

And finally the Wake-up signal arrives!
#ESA's Rosetta comet chaser has 'phoned home after waking from hibernation. The spike on the spectrum analyser is the carrier signal. Data will be coming soon (a bit slowly 8.7 bits/sec -- because the spacecraft is 800 million kilometres away). From DLR Facebook page.

It was indeed a day I would never forget and I figure this is worth noting down as I am nearing an end of a journey, which is my student life. So I guess I will start writing again this year. 2013 was a great year for me because I've learnt so much out of it. 2014 on the other hand, is going to be exciting. It will be a year of changes and big decisions are expected to be made, so it will be interesting to see how everything is going to turn out in the end (for me personally), and it will also be interesting if I can have a platform to jot down the small things that contributes to the big picture at the end of 2014 and I can look back at it with a thankful heart.

Here's to 2014 - the beginning of an end.

Last but not least

I was away during the weekend. Instead of joining a very important seminar which i dearly missed and also meeting up and catching up with friends from all over the places, I choose to go alone to the airport to welcome the new batch of juniors arriving in Germany for the very first time after 2 and a half years of preparation in Malaysia. And I am very thankful for that.

It reminds me of a lot of things. It reminds me of who I was and how much I've changed since then and I appreciate the then-me because without it, there will be no now-me. It reminds me of my fellow ALG comrades when they first arrive, and oh boy how much we all have grown!

Looking at my fellow juniors, five years really seems like five minutes. And thanks to the very encouraging email from Mr E this morning, I was reminded of sth which can describe my feeling at the moment.

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:2  a time to be born and a time to die,    a time to plant and a time to uproot,3  a time to kill and a time to heal,    a time to tear down and a time to build,4  a time to weep and a time to laugh,    a time to mourn and a time to dance,5  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,6  a time to search and a time to give up,    a time to keep and a time to throw away,7  a time to tear and a time to mend,    a time to be silent and a time to speak,8  a time to love and a time to hate,    a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (NIV)

Signing out,
Just-five-minutes-older-Pat

Still alive!

I hope i m not giving people the false impression that i was in Latvia for the past few months since i have yet to update my blog in a very looooooooong time. Yes finally i am back! (after travelling across the Latvian border into the Russian territory and got caught because i don have a visa and now i finally have my freedom!)

Just kidding!

I am still a tax-payers-sucking-JPA-scholar who still needs to write my first paper of my second semester in masters. Let the fun begins!

3 major rules when going to a mission trip!

I was together with 500 people and 9 days in Latvia for a short term mission trip.

It was sth that i did not plan long enough or in other words - spontaneous. But i have to admit, it was worth it! Every single moment, even though it means sleeping on a thin mattress together with 20 girls on hard cement floor. And i manage to shower for at least 3 times! What an experience!

However being in Germany long enough to learn about how ze Germans try to structure everything and how we plan our week by the days and our day by the hours, it only took the organisers of the social mission trip 3 rules to put everything under control.

Rule number 1 - You do not get ANGRY! 

You do not get angry when your neighbours came into the room at half past two in the middle of the night. You do not get angry when the local latvian radio is on practically 24/7. You do not get angry when there is no timetable to follow and the school bell is the only thing u can count on to know when u shud eat breakfast lunch or dinner. You do not get angry when naughty kids are shouting at your ears while getting their presents. And not only that, you do not get angry at all!

Rule number 2 - Problems do not exist!

A problem will be a problem if u think it is a problem. And the word 'problem' was never even mentioned once in the new testament. Meaning, there is no such thing as cannot get a car for your fellow group mate who is a bit slow and has difficulty walking to send us to the most deprived area of the city to give out foodbags. There is no such thing as cannot organise technical equipment (video projectors, wires, laptop etc) to go to the nearest schools for Kids program. There is no such thing as cannot be patient or cannot dressed up as clowns to entertain the children who are coming for the Kids program.

Rule number 3- You are not going to get married here!

i mean, come on! we are trying to save the world here (or not) and of course there are nice, holy and godly people around you who you might accidentally be attracted to but push it down, all of the feelings, all of it! And thus it creates a safe environment of building (first) friendships (and only) and as a girl i do feel safe to just talk because of the open environment and not to withheld myself too much for the fear or misleading or giving false hints to our fellow brothers.

Overall to sum it up, the mission trip was a dream come true. There are expectations that are not fulfilled because of the huge numbers of participants but of course there are far more precious things that i've gained. I have learnt so much about myself and thus have more faith in the one who created me and to really believe that i can contribute and make a small change in a city.

Signing out

Pat

To Latvia with love

Counting down 3 days to Latvia!

Being mechanical engineer

While in the process of stocking up for cny eve, i got asked by the lady at the asian shop whether i study culinary in the uni (i was asking for plum sauce coz i wan to have yee sang for cny eve celebration in church)

She was quite disappointed when i told her i am currently doing my masters in mechanical engineering. And she proceed by telling me how she wish her daughter can do mechanical as well. I told her i was free to choose whatever i wan to do because there's so many subject options to choose from and nearly everything has to do with physics and maths. Being asian, she proceed again by telling me how she thinks her daughter should be studying engineering instead of biology because of future job prospect. Well, reminds me of my family as well and i got homesick for a while.

To be honest, whenever people ask me why did i choose engineering as a girl, and usually my answer will be : cause my dad says so. I will normally get this weird look for them. And it is really fun to do it everytime, esp with ze germans, coz they are so free to do whatever they like after they turn 16 and leave home, and they cannot imagine how helpless a 17-year-old can be after she finishes high school and don't know what to do with her future. When i was 16, i had 5 tuition classes to attend. and when i finish high school, i don't know what to do coz there's no tuition class to attend!

So this will be my 4th cny in a land far far away from home, and i would also like to wish people who are not like me, who get to celebrate this valuable family celebration with your family, please hug your parents and siblings for me and don forget the angpaus!

XOXO

Stories from Scampen - part 1

i freaking drank a bottle of apfelschorle through a smelly sock (which happens to belong to a girl standing next to me). nuff said.

notice how everyone here only has one sock on.

after that, people were coming up to me and ask me why did i even want to do it. hmmm. why did i not think of it before gulping the whole bottle down?

So since it happen already, might as well learn sth from it.

and during Scampen, i realise one thing, that i have been in Germany for 4 years already. Before i knew it,  i m getting a tad bit older than when i first arrive and i realise how all my dreams and passion are being buried over the years because of studies and ministry and etc.

so again the question, what does drinking apfelschorle through a sock has to do with getting old?

well it make me realise that i am not as physically and mentally weak than i thought i would be. If i can survive drinking liquid through smelly socks, i can surely survive sleeping on hard cement floor in Latvia for one week! there you go, funny how a wacky game can give so much inspirations to people.

Signing off,
Pat-who-will-be-going-on-short-term-mission-trip-before-turning-25

In life, in death

Reading through cnn and all the sad news of school kids being shot to death, usually saddens me. But this time, i m stronger than just fearing death itself. We can never know when death will come and take us away from the momentary earth. Just make sure we live a life of no regrets, seize every moment and do your best. If you are studying, go to every class. If you are watching youtube, watch every episodes. If you are serving in church, do your very best for God.

my deepest condolences goes out to all the parents, family and friends of those cute children and brave adults. not only in america, but in Syria, Palestine, Israel and all parts of the world. 

The identity project - Being student

So it has been a month and a half since i started my masters at uni Stuttgart. Looking back at what i've 'achieved', i realise that it was nearly impossible - to be able to pass 6 subjects and finish writing a bachelor thesis - but whatever is impossible, is possible with God. I realised how i have been dragged along because i was so reluctant to believe that sth great is going to happen. I am reluctant to take risk, but somehow what i've experienced in the past 6 months is challenging my faith all over again. After all, faith is spellt R-I-S-K.

This time, i have the chance to experience student life all over again. The way I intended it to be without me realising it. I was reluctant to come to uni Stuttgart at first because i wanted to go to a better place(at least i was the only one who think so), a new place where i can start all over again with new people. But of course life will be less fun if we keep getting the things we wanted. How boring will it be?

Have a glimpse of my new uni!

so here i am feeling my life is as challenging as ever, thanks to my new identity as a university student!

Signing off,
The importance of being Pat

The identity project - Part 1

Being homeless for a while really taught me a lot and it is not so much of not having my own place to stay, but once again to need to stay with someone in the same room (since i have to give up my old room because i am suppose to be finished with my bachelor studies), being aware that every move that i make is being watched etc etc. And surprisingly, it is not too bad at all. To have someone to talk to all the time, to tell someone the things that i always thought no one will be interested, to be rest assure that i can fully be 'myself' and not care how would people judge the things i said (it helps when the temporary roomie is a little girl who loves to listen to stories) and the idea of letting people into my world and fear of exposing every weaknesses that i have doesn't have a strong hold on me anymore.

Having an identity helps to overcome the fear of exposing one's weaknesses and vice versa. Yes, once i overcome the fear of exposing my weaknesses, i begin to find my own identity. I am able to face myself and my weaknesses and accepting them as being part of me. Of course it comes with a cost, that people outside will notice the weaknesses and start reminding me again of them. And it really hurts. A lot. And this is the tricky part, once i realise tat i m being hurt, i begin to think of ways to avoid being hurt which resents to trying to cover up the weaknesses again, which defeats the whole purpose of the identity project.

The identity project? What is it? It is a very cool name that i thought of for the series i want to blog after this. One of the topic that i really put effort in learning especially throughout the years of my studies here in Germany is "Will the real Pat(ricia) please stand up aka Who am I?" and it is time that i summarise what i've learnt in forms that can help other people realise their identity as well.

Signing off,
The importance of being Pat

Fishes and Loaves

A dwelling place for the next 2 years in Stuttgart.

yup! after so many ups and downs (queuing up just to visit a house and competing with so many rich n famous people, communication with future housemates, struggling with thesis, inner conflicts etc etc) everything is set! When we are at our wits' end, it's when God says "O you of little faith, why do you doubt?" And God just got up and called the landlord to ask him to choose us to be the tenant among those with higher qualification than us and it was done! The End!

*360 degrees cartwheel jump with ending pose - fist in the air

weehoo! (but Lord can You please take care of the very expensive deposit *gulps as well!)

10 things I haven't done yet since coming to Europe

1. Gotten drunk
You might ask, what's the definition of drunk? Is it waking up at the very next morning and totally forgot what happened the night before. Then no. The last attempt was chinese new year 3 years ago when i ended up losing half of my 'friends' and one week of red patches all over the body. Will definitely not give up anything for that experience again.
2. Gone to disneyland
I know, it's every child's dream to go there. I really wanted to go, but during the 2 times I was in Paris, i just feel like window shopping is the only thing i wanted to do. Don't mind going there in the future, but with someone who's very persistent to go. 
3. Gotten a piercing
To tell the truth, I've really considered it. There's even a funny story behind it and the topic was about a friend's baptism and somehow the topic of getting a piercing appear out of nowhere and we had a good laugh. And somehow the thought of having a piercing juz pass by like a wind.
4. Tried smoking weed
They say when in Amsterdam, do what's already legal there. But somehow i prefer the windmills and the flowers, van gogh, red light district, anne frank and last but not least the driving in the city centre(duh). Nearly all of my friends people that i've known who have been there (and i heard) they tried marijuana or space cakes (whatever u wan to replace the word drugs with) but I'm still too skeptical of smoking weed as a mean of showing off.
5. Gone camping
Don't get me wrong, i am a proud brownie and girl guide. I've learn them all - the signs, the flags, the knots etc etc. It's all in the head and let the scouts do them. However, i've heard that camping here in Europe is not like back in Malaysia where muddy floor and team building activities come to mind. So we will see.
6. Taken a bubble bath
Whenever i go to the Drogerie markt (literally translated to a drug store, not related to point 4 at all) where they have the whole section of bath salts and bath oils for all sorts of purpose, whether u are sick, stressed out or u juz wanna take bath etc. People here actually believe that soaking themselves in a bathtub helps. To me, that's a lot of wrinkled skin. 
7. Gone swimming in a swimming pool in summer
It's a trend to go to the swimming pool during summer. I've heard of stories of family outing, people going there to check out hot bikini babes/dudes but non to go swimming coz it will be so packed with people that all u do is juz soaking urself in the pool (see point 6) and the only time i've been to a swimming pool is when a fren was baptised during a church camp during winter (see point 3) and the biggest joke here is i don't even know how to swim.
8. Eat bread or potatoes as the main source of carborhydrate
Back in my hometown, i always think that i have this hippie trait in me that i am more western than the rest of the population. *smirk I think i have no idea that one day i will be in a country so west away and realise that deep inside me, i am juz as cina, if not more than all of the population. So the longest i can live is one week without rice, which was sort of being forced since it usually happen during a one-week church camp.
9. Donate my blood
I believe that none of us will say that we like needles. It is like a horror film to me. But i would like to overcome this fear because donating blood is for a good cause. But it will always remain a good cause only if I don't actually go do it!!!
10. I have to admit when it comes to point number 10, i am out of idea and instead of desperately come out with something just to fill up the list, i will be honest and tell u that there's only 9 things on my list. The things mentioned here, some i am proud of and some i am quite ashamed of. This post serves to be a pure entertainment post so if u find it funny, thank you for appreciating my humour! It's sth that i wanna learn, is to take an inspiring message and modify it to be funny, these are the things that i have in mind to tell people and also my big God and let Him be entertained!

How to live?

have been asking myself this question lately, how to live ur or my life?

some may say live ur life everyday like it is the last day - ok then i don't need to go to work on my stressful thesis anymore, start travel the world, call my parents back home and tell them i love them or tell the world that Jesus live. i mean if i wanna live like the world might gonna end soon then i might as well stop my thesis now coz wat's the use of it right when everyday is like the last day.

some will say, i don't really care whether the world will end. so right here right now what i can do is to continue what i am doing, go to class, go to work, do my everyday stuff, go to bed, wake up, brush my teeth and the day starts and the day ends.

I have come to the conclusion, why not do both? live everyday like tomorrow's gonna end and i don't really care when the world will end coz i noe where i will be going and have been storing treasures there already (i really hope i will be rich enough when the day came)

2 cents worth of self-motivating post.

今天

今天受了点伤，在追梦的过程中。不过还是要以幽默面对，因为我要全世界知道我的低调。

Help!

Running in circles

Let your Word over my mind claim the win

For the truth I own is but a thimble.

Let me speak of Truth with true Love within

Lest I sound the gong and crash the cymbal.

quote from here

Coward vs Noble

2 hours to Germany beating the Italians in the semi final of Euro Cup 2012, ran-dom i noe. Ze Germans must win this year!!! roar!

anyway, what's with the sudden enthusiasm over football? Ever heard of distractions? Yup, i m trying to distract myself from my oh-i-m-so-stress-i-m-gonna-die and oh-i-must-make-the-right-decisions-if-not-i-m-gonna-die mood.

Allow me to explain more.

So there's this situation that awaits a decision. For example (just an example, not a real life problem) - where to do my masters for next semester. So after some brain wrecking sessions trying to figure out the right place to go, the cycle starts. My brain will start having some counter attack thoughts - Yeah but... what about...? and all this thoughts starts to brew sth inside me. They sounds like the best intentions when i am just too scared to do what i should. It allows me to be a coward, while sounding noble.

What is the life that i've always wanted? I m not too sure anymore. Is it about being in the student body, to travel the world, to dye my hair red, to date a hot blond guy wif blue eyes, to be able to score less than 2,5 in my bachelor degree, to get into a master programme in a big city, to get a good job after i graduate, to go on a mission trip etc etc?

I don have the answers to all the questions above, but one thing i do know is i know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Signing off
Courage the cowardly Pat

Weird

i don't know whether it's just me but i think i've just developed a fear of quarter life crisis (if i were to live until 100 years old) Everything that happens around me seems so surreal and it is just weird. Here is a list of unbelievable events :

1.  I might be a mechanical engineer graduate soon! (if i manage to pass 6 papers and finish building my solar cooker)
2.  My youngest brother is going off to uni too.
3.  Hearing my parents discussing about buying 2 new single beds (for themselves)
4.  Start listing 25 things that I should do before I turn 25 and actually doing them
5.  Start thinking of the possibility of going on a hiking trip with my Tibet-fanatic-dad
etc etc and the list goes on

Guess what? The most unbelievable thing of all is that I am actually going to London next week! Like you, i never realise the significant of this trip to London until I was chatting with a friend and we talk about our childhood dreams and suddenly the thought hits me. I did, 7 years ago, wrote in my high school year book about my dream, one of them is to go to London in 2012 to watch olympics. Well i did not manage to become a volunteer for Olympic games this time but at least I.am.finally.going.to.London

Cheerio
Pat-going-off-to-Europe-Trip-again

Purpose

Last weekend was no doubt the most memorable one i ever had in my life where  a wedding, mother's day and a redefined purpose all took place.

Yup the wedding, can't believe my ex house church leaders are getting married. It seems like yesterday only when they approach me n invite me to join them and i mistaken them for being siblings rather than a couple. To me they always seem to have this secret bond between them, like this blood connection that only siblings shared.

and they live happily ever after...

Last but not least, THE bible verse to share during a wedding. Contrary to popular belief, it does not talk only about love between a couple but most importantly the love between people, disciples especially :

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.