Saturday, October 18, 2008

ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE

English is a lego language as Malay language is, borrowing from many
different sources to make up for its inadequacy! So, it is not so
logical a language linguistically. That explains its many anomalies
and probably, the British concept of democracy, which is only fit for
the British, but not others. Hence, you have democracy in HK only
after the British had left! And of course, only the British could have
left the White Rajah heritage in Borneo!

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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of o! dds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

In closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother not Mop?

AND IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES

THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES

AND THE GERMANS, GERMS

2 comments:

Vincent said...

haha... cant stop laughing... but r u ok? Or GMI tortured u?

eunice said...

yo! how are u la?? i seriously miss our 'carefree' times in intec weih! i think it's the night air gettin to my brain now n making me nostalgic.LOL.

email meee!!! then only i'll reply u.wahahaha.

btw,u still using your 019 here? coz i can text u for free.but 012/017 tak dapat.

n pls enjoy the rest of your time in SA..once u step into uni it's like *bam* study this,read that, prepare for this lecture n that dunno-what-else.. haih. yea med is still fun tho =) it's amazing to learn how complicated an embryo is. so many layers. this layer of cells replace that layer n is further replaced by another layer.. i tell u arh..good thing histology got no midterm exam, if not i pengsan k..